Bullying

I meant to write about this last week, but alas, it didn't happen. But, better late than never, yes?

It isn't a secret to most how I feel about the man who currently occupies the Oval Office at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. I don't have to like him, but because I am called to respect the position, I will do my best to deal with that, but like the bumper sticker says, "don't blame me, I didn't vote for him!"

Last week, amidst all that is happening in our world, President Obama held a conference on bullying. I will preface all of this by saying, that the recent tragedies of kids taking their own lives under the pressure they face from cruel peers, is heart breaking. Kids are kids, and kids are MEAN. They always have been, but with the introduction of cyber-bullying thanks to social networking has really taken the issue to a higher level.

There are two parts to this post; part one: bullying. Part Two: the conference on bullying. So first of all, from what little I know/understand, bullying has morphed over the last 60 years from being pushed on the playground and stealing someone's lunch money to some conglomerate of verbal abuse and bringing guns to school. Because I wasn't there, I can't say that more modern bullying is worse than what Beaver Cleaver faced, but my feeling is that it might be. Somewhere between shows like the Real Housewives (gag), Mean Girls (shoot me now), and WWF (which I can honestly say I've never watched, but we've all seen the previews), fighting/drama/conflict/bitchiness has become the "it" thing. If you don't bully, you'll be bullied... so pick your poison.

That being said, I can say that I was bullied... but then again, who hasn't? Now, logic says to a kid, "hey don't pick on the big kid who is like 5x your size", but when the big kid is me (the girl who is a foot taller and wider than everyone else in class, but will cry if you look at her the wrong way) logic is defied. As I got older, who's fault was it? Mine. As Eleanor Roosevelt says, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent". As I matured, it was my fault that I allowed myself to internalize people's words and actions.

I can honestly say that I have never been hit (praise the Lord) except of course the one time the lady ran into me with her car (different story for a different day). At age 24, there are several reasons: first, I'm an only child. I have no siblings to hit me. Second, I was blessed with the most loving parents imaginable (for which I don't take for granted, domestic abuse makes me want to throw up). Finally, I didn't need to be hit... I let people's words do the hitting for them, so they never needed to exert the effort. But let's be real, we all know what it's like to be hurt by others words and actions; that pain is the result of people bullying. Sometimes they mean it, sometimes they don't, but I'd be hard pressed to find anyone over the age of two who comes from a wonderful, full of love home, that hasn't been bullied to some degree.

All of that to say, when a kid's lunch money got stolen on the playground in 1955, that hurt. I'm sure it did; everyone wants to be accepted, and besides, everyone gets hungry at lunchtime! However, in 1955, when the bell rang, kids went home and were completely removed from the situation. In the 1990's when instant messaging was introduced (hello AIM and ICQ), it wasn't as easy to get away from (trust me, I know). Those words stung and cut and caused anger, tears, etc. But one of the biggest differences between then and now? Outside of someone talking about it later, it stayed between the two parties and wasn't on display for others to see. With Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc., any verbal damage can be viewed by the whole world... you've heard of viral videos on YouTube (prime example: kids beating other kids), but it is CRAZY how quickly making fun of others catches on... it spreads like wildfire (again, I've experienced both sides, one made me stronger, the other I still feel guilty about). Growing up is tough, but being ripped to shreds for the world to see exponentially increases the challenge.

The other part of this post, is my total disbelief that the president of the United States would hold a conference on bullying. He says it's because he was bullied... but um, excuse me sir, you're an idiot with big ears. Why wouldn't you be bullied? Oh by the way, who in the world (even those who are smart with normal sized ears) haven't been bullied? Are we supposed to feel sympathy for you? There is absolutely nothing that can be done in a lawmaker's office to fix the issue of bullying. Not only is the issue as old as time, it's individual and localized. It's a matter of changing culture, society, and relationship building to help the problem, however as long as there are humans, there will be bullying. We are a whole bunch of sinners living in a fallen world who all think we are super right 104% of the time (unfortunately, I am a prime example :/).

We are living in a time of unrest (the War on Terrorism, Egypt, Libya, guerilla warfare, Jihad, human trafficking, etc.). The value of the American dollar is falling, crime is rising, and in case no one has noticed, our politicians (on both sides of the aisle) are struggling to do anything productive. Maybe, just MAYBE law maker's (namely the head of this nation) should focus on those issues and butt OUT of the bullying issue... no law is going to change it. Empower the families, the teachers, the community to show a better way and do what we can to work with both the bullies and the bullied. Just a thought...