2/3 of the way there!

I was born, raised, and still reside in the state of Indiana (don't ask me how I feel about the 3rd part of that sentence, as that is a conversation for another day). However, after over 24 years here, I am STILL not used to the winters, the cold, the gray, and the dreary. I don't know why my body craves the Vitamin D and serotonin from the sun like it does, but the lack of it sure throws me out of whack. Exhaustion, moodiness, tears... you name it, if it's negative, I will encompass it. I guess you could call it some sort of withdraw, because in the summertime, I'm about as energetic and peppy as people care to be around. I know this is shocking, but I can be a bit much... a bit over the top, a lot to handle... (please wipe that surprised look off your face, it's no secret).

All of that to say, today is the last day of February... woo hoo! I literally can not stand January, February and March in the state of Indiana. I don't mean to complain, but those three months are a challenge for me to get through. So today, I'm going to look at the glass as half full... or in this case, 2/3 full because two of the three yucky months are OVER! We are now less than a month away from the official start of spring and would you believe... I heard a bird chirping today!

One of my favorite sounds in the world is children laughing (I take after my Momma). I love to hear the sound of a boat taking off in the middle of the lake, the ding of the timer when cookies come out of the oven, and a squeal from someone I care about when they have good news. But one of the best sounds of all? Birds chirping after a long, harsh, drab winter. It's so invigorating I just want to run around outside yelling "yippee" at the top of my lungs. (Don't judge me, I've done it before.)

So today, I am thankful. Today we are 59 days into the 90 day stretch... and those birds are pretty doggone excited, too!

Follow-Up...

As I reread my post on the current health care system, I became worried that I may have come across in a pompous or arrogant manner; which I certainly had no intent of doing. My belief that health care is a privilege, not a right, is because our freedoms and the "free market system" that is supposed to exist in "democracy" dictates it as such.

I did not mean to seem like I was bragging that I have great health insurance; I'm blessed, yes, but I certainly don't mean to take that for granted. My point was simply that our government shouldn't take from some to give to others... we, as Christians, should do so without the government's help. I understand that there are many unfortunate circumstances, and I certainly wouldn't ever wish or condemn anyone in any type of situation, I just don't believe that a socialist approach is the way to go.

When Jesus lived as a man on this earth, he was not a rich man by human standards. However, you never saw Him taking from rich to give to poor... rather you saw Him reaching out and helping those less fortunate and that's what I believe we are called to do. We should help take care of the sick and the needy out of our love for Christ who has taught us to love others.

Again, I am truly sorry if my post came across in a rude, demeaning manner... that was not my intent; I just wanted to express my gratitude for the system that is helping me as I go through this "valley" if you will, and voice my opinion against a government run health care system... not to say that those who have not don't deserve to be treated and taken care of.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be in a situation in terms of health when care is out of reach, and my heart breaks for all who have to walk through physical trials in the first place. May God bless all those who suffer as HIS grace is sufficient.

#5: CURRENT Health Care System

I am a firm believer in the concept that everyone has "something". Some of us deal with physical health issues, others financial issues, others addictions, others still abuse, so on and so forth. There isn't a soul among us who isn't tormented by some form of SOMEthing. I will give the devil this: as much of a bastard as he is, he is sure a creative bastard! He comes up with different ways to challenge us, test our faith and drag us down. Seriously, don't know what else to call him but a bastard (and let's be real, that's keeping it rated PG).

In my case, currently, it's my health. I don't mean that in a "woe is me" way, it just is what it is... I am very blessed in many ways and it could always be much worse. That being said though, I have had a lot of experience with our current free health care system, and while yes it is expensive, it's FABULOUS. Yes, I'm blessed to have health insurance (thanks, daddy!). Yes, I'm blessed to have access to good doctors. And praise the Lord for those things!

Don't get me started on my thoughts of the so-called government take over of our health care system. This blog, and the world wide web for that matter, aren't big enough to hold my thoughts, feelings, and frankly the expletives I'd like to throw in with said perspectives. But our current system? Yeah, it's baller.

The people who are taking the time, putting in the effort, taking out the student loans, sacrificing anything outside of education to become doctors, in my opinion, deserve the compensation they receive! The Obama-ramuses' take that away, and they've stolen the incentive to work hard to become a doctor. And frankly, I don't want some C-student who has mediocre work ethic operating on or treating me (call me snotty, but SERIOUSLY!). Should this occur, a system that serves everyone will be useless given that the quality of the care won't be worth anything to anyone. Currently, we have great for some but not for all. Then, we would have no good for all.

People from all over the world come to America to utilize its incredible health care because it is one of the few remaining free systems in the world. Look at Canada and the train wreck their health care system is in... need I say more?

All of the time I have spent being a part of our health care system, has made me realize how BLESSED we are to have it, and how SCREWED (yes, I know that's not the most sophisticated way of saying it, but it certainly gets the point across) we will be if it is taken away from us. I do not mean to be pompous that I have had opportunities and access to healthcare while others who are less fortunate have not... but healthcare is a privilege, not a right. For me, for you, and for anyone else... it is something to be appreciated, not something one is entitled to. Furthermore, there are many organizations that exist to help those with medical expenses... our government doesn't need to do it by robbing some people of good healthcare to give all mediocre healthcare.

Jesus calls us to care for those less fortunate, those who are sick, those who are in need (Matthew 26) and as Christians, it is our responsibility to do so. Not in the name of socialism, but in the name of Christ. Our government forcing all to do so while some of those who are benefiting continue to milk the system and blow what little money they have in irresponsible manners (notice I say some, not all) is not only unfair, but will lead to further demise of our already fragile (due to the damage done) system.

Our current health care system has saved my life and many others... robbing our great nation of the system and those who make it possible would be one of the greatest tragedies in our great nation's history.

#4: Patriotism

I should specify, that in this series of "loves for my country", they aren't ranked in any particular order... they are all on the list, but please don't think that I love deodorant more than patriotism, it's simply the way the posts have fallen.

So several months ago (November, to be exact) I went to lunch with my Shorty (a.k.a my maternal 89 year old grandfather) on Veteran's Day. We went to Applebee's because they were giving Veterans a free meal that day, and my Shorty was a P-51 pilot in World War II. To me, this is a HUGE deal. I love everything about the 1940's, and frankly believe I may have been born in the wrong generation.

Anyways, while we were there, countless people questioned him, thanked him, and wanted to hear all about his time in the U.S. Air Corps. He was to bring his military I.D. to receive his free meal, but since he couldn't find it, he chose to bring a picture of he and my grandmother on their wedding day as he was in uniform and the picture was taken on the base. He proudly told the inquisitors of his time served, and showed off his beautiful bride to anyone who wanted to see. There are so few WWII Veterans left, that you could tell how impressed people were by him. They thanked him for his service, his sacrifice, his risks, his time, his energy... to which he politely replied with a shy "my pleasure".

Now, here's the thing... Shorty was in the war towards the end, because he was young. He wasn't a part of the draft, he freely elected to enlist because he wanted to serve his country. At 19, he didn't even meet the weight requirement to fly (he needed to be 120, but he was only 113 - I obviously don't take after his genetics) but the physician fudged his weight so he could get in to that cockpit.

I have a couple great uncles who were in the Battle of the Bulge, on the beaches of Normandy, one who was an officer directly under General MacArthur. While all of these examples pertain specifically to one war, they also are specific to a generation. A generation whose freedoms were directly attacked time and time again, but who would never retreat. Since that horrible war, there have been countless more, and just like my grandfather, there have been countless people who have freely chosen to enlist in our armed services to protect the freedoms and rights we hold dear, and often take for granted.

While again, patriotism is not specific to only America, the pride (some) Americans have for their beloved nation is enough to give me goosebumps. To hear the National Anthem, the Pledge of Allegiance, or to see the flag flown at half-staff in honor of tragedy reminds me of how deep patriotism runs. If I could individually thank every person who has sacrificed so that I may vote, travel, and worship as I desire, I would. In the meantime, I will continue to pray for them and for their loved ones, for the leadership of this country, and that those who want to hurt America will fail. I think Toby Keith says it best in his "Courtesy of the Red, White, & Blue"...

American Girls and American Guys
We'll always stand up and salute
We'll always recognize
When we see Old Glory Flying
There's a lot of men dead
So we can sleep in peace at night
When we lay down our head

Now this nation that I love
Has fallen under attack
A mighty sucker punch came flyin' in
From somewhere in the back
Soon as we could see clearly
Through our big black eye
Man, we lit up your world
Like the 4th of July

Hey Uncle Sam
Put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty
Started shakin' her fist
And the eagle will fly
Man, it's gonna be hell
When you hear Mother Freedom
Start ringin' her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you Courtesy of the Red White and Blue

Justice will be served
And the battle will rage
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you'll be sorry that you messed with
The U.S. of A.
'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass
It's the American way!

#3: Football

We are now two weeks post-Superbowl and I am have already having withdraws from the absolutely FANTASTIC game of American football. I get that soccer is the "original" football because it actually uses feet and is the world's sport and ya, ya, ya, but let's be real: what sport is as great as football?

As huge of a sports fan as I am, I am also a girlie girl, so I will start with the most obvious aspect of my heterosexual love of a sport: football pants. Which of course go hand-in-hand with some of the specific position players' builds: quarterback, tight end (literally, hehe), wide receiver, cornerback... to name just a few. Six foot something men without an ounce of body fat on them in spandex capris: you won't hear me complaining. Personally, I have yet to find a sport that has better looking players than football... seriously (not to mention my older-man crush on Joe Montana; he still looks THAT good!)

The tackling: it's the most civilized way to settle a score (literally again, wow, I'm on a roll!) in the oldest way known to man. Defense says to the offense, "you've got something we want" (the ball) and "I am now going to take you down so we can get it". Simple concept... complex execution.

The game itself: of the main sports that don't run continually during game time (i.e. basketball) all others, save football, are chasing a little white thing... does anyone else find that boring after oh, say, 10 minutes? Soccer, baseball, hockey... little white thing being chased by grown men in games that drag on forever. Not football! Football games are long enough that they make it worth your while to make the effort to go to the game or somewhere to watch the game, they keep your attention even though play isn't always continual amd again, they wear FOOTBALL PANTS. (Frankly, that in and of itself should be enough!)

Finally, I don't know if anyone besides me has noticed this (not because I'm so smart, but because of the misfires in my brain, I think of random stuff...) but for the most part (I didn't do enough research on this to find the statistics, because there are bad apples everywhere) players in the NFL aren't/don't seem to be in trouble nearly as often as other professional athletes. Now, again, I give the disclaimer that there are plenty of NFL idiots (I mean, what do you expect... they get hit in the head all the time!) who drive under the influence, beat their wives/girlfriends, allow their ego to drive their manhood, etc. However, Roger Goodell (the NFL commissioner) doesn't mess around with punishments: you screw up, you pay. Big Ben is a prime example. Brett Favre (who almost single handedly derailed this argument, given that despite his genius on the field several years ago, is a world-class idiot) is also a case of punishment being enforced. Good work, Rog! Whereas the MLB seems to constantly have steroid issues on top of the aforementioned bad decisions, the NBA seems to have become little more than street ball of ego-maniacs like Lebron James. Doesn't anyone remember when the NBA was cool? When it was Reggie, MJ, Scottie Pippen, etc.? You know, guys who actually knew how to play the game and had some fundamentals (again, not to say they weren't idiots off the court, but at least they weren't when they were on the court!) Furthermore, a lot of the "do-gooders" in professional sports today come from football, and have come from football in the past, I could write a long list of NFL players involved in doing the right thing and being the right person for the right reasons: find me three in one sport alone (save Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers because he's a cut above most people in general, let alone professional athletes or baseball players) because I couldn't come up with three in other sports.

So as unorganized as the idea of number three is, I am extremely grateful for the game of football, its hitting, rule enforcing, good-doing PANTS.

#2: Deodorant

Another thing I love about America, is its embrace for deodorant (and personal hygiene in general), but specifically the pH balanced goodness that prevents the stench. Again, I understand that Americans certainly aren't the only people to embrace the stuff, nor were we necessarily the rocket scientists who came up with it, but the stuff is GOOD.

I would go so far as to say whoever it was who did create it, should probably win an award (I'd suggest the Nobel Peace prize, but then again, those are given to people who don't do or know anything, ahem Obama...) so I'm not going to go there. But honestly, think about it... at the risk of being so politically uncorrect that my blog gets shut down and I get arrested for being a white Christian girl, I won't single out any specific cultures or races, but in case you haven't noticed, there are SOME in this world who don't utilize the gift of deodorant... even while in this country! (On a side note, my only beef with them is their body odor, I truly have nothing against nor am I prejudice towards any specific group of people.)

I know that "smells"probably aren't a crucial deal in the long run of life per se, but just think about it: how many different times, circumstances, situations, etc. has some form of a stench made or broken your experience? I mean hellooooo warm garlic and butter when you walk into Biaggi's. Hellooooooo dark chocolate and fruit when you walk into DeBrand's. Helloooooo person at the gym next to you who ate Biaggi's last night (EW!).

If you have ever been around someone who hasn't exercised their right to use deodorant, you know exactly what I'm talking about... it's a struggle to breathe it in, and while I can't speak for others, it makes my stomach think it's an olympic gymnast that needs to do an entire floor routine of jumps, flips, and cartwheels.

Furthermore, deodorant is like America (oh yes, I took it there): it comes in all shapes, colors, sizes, style and scents (notice I say "scents", not "odors"). Stick, solid, white, clear, men's, women's, travel size, value size, fierce ice, powder fresh, etc. It's like we can compare the Wal-Mart aisle of deodorant to our melting pot of folks!

So all in all, I'm extremely thankful for the stuff. I know it's a little thing, but they say (who ever "they" are) that it's the "little things in life", and this "little thing" can make or break a situation and any innocent bystander's temporary well-being.

New Series

To get myself off of my ranting soapbox and away from complaining, I've decided to try a new series of posts entitled "Why I love America", because I do. Frankly, if I didn't have the health of a rotten banana, I probably would have wanted to get into some form of service to my country, but they put stipulations on entrance to keep people like me out of there (who can blame them... why should they have to pay for my medical bills when the taxpaying public can do that? Oh wait, they don't... why again? Oh, yep, I forgot... I'm not on Medicaid).

Anywho, so many people in the world have negative feelings towards America & Americans. What's worse, is that so many of the people in the world who have such negative feelings are IN this country and Americans themselves! So, I have decided, that since I'm not one of those people, I am going to send a friendly public service reminder to the world wide web (and myself since no one really reads this blog and it's essentially nothing more than my personal journal) that America and her people are WONDERFUL! So many have sacrificed so that we may live in such a wonderful place and I think it's time I stop taking it for granted.

So, post one, here we go: I LOVE AMERICAN TOILETS. Yep, that's right. The porcelain throne. The john. The potty... whatever you'd like to call it. While I understand and respect the fact that America isn't the only place who has these above ground white seats that gracefully flush away our excretions, and it may not have been an American who created it, HOWEVER, they are a staple in this country. Unless you go to some far-left liberal hippie compound, where ever you are, you can use the restroom on a toilet as opposed to an outhouse or WORSE, a hole in the ground.

Following a conversation with my Grammy today, as she was relaying the time (mind you, this was last year) that she fell into a hole in the ground "potty" while backpacking in Nepal, it reminded me of the first time I attempted to use a similar set-up while in China. I demanded that a friend accompany me on this emotionally scarring endeavor, and would you believe, I slipped and got my foot stuck in the whole? Yes, that's right. All over my foot. My jeans. The floor. Ugh, what a mess.

I understand that I'm not Jillian Michaels, but I do spend exorbitant amounts of time at the gym, being active, and focused on fitness. That being said, I should have the balance to squat over a hole. But, alas, I dun't (said in my best Ricky Ricardo impression).

So to really begin my miniseries with a bang, today (and everyday for that matter) I am thankful for America and her toilets. Can I get an AMEN!?

While I'm Waiting

Not to constantly complain, but Christian radio really annoys me. They talk, and talk, and talk, and talk about really nothing. With all of that talking, they never actually say ANYthing. But, nonetheless, when they choose to actually play music, it's often good.

That being said, I was driving today and heard a song called "While I'm Waiting".

While I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
While I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting

Simple, but exceptionally convicting. While I wait: because it's not my timing, it's His. What am I doing while I'm waiting (especially given that I'm currently in a period of waiting in all aspects)? Am I serving or am I doubting? Am I worshiping or am I complaining? Am I trusting or am I questioning? Am I active or am I standing still?

Unfortunately, I have to confess, that as much as I'd like to say the former instead of the latter in all of those questions, I can't. Instead of looking for the lessons in this valley, I've been frustrated, frightened, frozen. Instead of relying on His strength, I've been limping by on my own instincts.

The Lord allows us to go through highs & lows in life to bring Him glory. Our faith is tested (James tells us) so that it may grow deeper. He gives us periods of waiting to see how we will use them, how we will bring glory to His name. He is glorified and is made to be more when we are made to be less. He wants my all, and He wants me to serve and to worship while I wait... besides, who knows how long I will be waiting? In the long run, if this season of waiting lasts for the rest of my life, it's nothing more than a vapor... because in eternity, my wait will be over.

Now if only I can learn to rely on that strength He so graciously offers...

Cynicism or Reality?

In light of Valentine's day (which is SO not a real holiday), I've chosen to blog (especially since I've been neglecting my writing) about Love. You know... the mushy gushy, can't eat/can't sleep/reach for the stars/over the fence World Series kind of feeling that makes one's eyes dance and their stomach flip-flop. THAT kind of love. The love that when you're in it makes you do bizarre things, the love that when you're not in it makes you want to puke when you see others in it, and the same love that causes a bazillion dollars (exact figure, I checked it!) to be spent on chocolate, flowers, lingerie etc. on February 14 of every year.

Some might say that the views I am about to express are due to my current relationship status, or jealousy or ego or anything else. I'm telling you, it's not. I've never liked Valentine's Day, regardless of whether I was in love, lust, or as single as one could ever be. This might sound a little outlandish, but I think that if you're going to love someone, it should be every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year. You don't get a "vacation" from love. Either you love them or you don't. Either you're in love or you're not.

Here's the scary thing about that though: it's my belief, that you can fall OUT of love. It's happened to me before. However, what scares me even more than that is, is that the one time I was in love, not only did I buy lie after lie (I'd like to chalk it up to immaturity, but unfortunately, I have to take responsibility for my being so naiive), I had no idea who the person was TRULY until it all hit the fan. Until AFTER I had fallen into and then out of love. Thus proving that regardless of time, you don't necessarily know someone. Regardless of how you feel or what you want to believe... people lie. People act. People are ingenuine. Funny thing about that is, is that it was nothing more than "young love"; just a dating relationship (that Praise the Lord) never turned into anything more. Piece by piece as I built the puzzle, I realized I wasn't in love with that person, I was in love with the person he concocted that never actually existed. Furthermore, what he called "love" was never really that at all; simply a desire for companionship. It didn't matter if it were me, the lunch lady, or the girl who lived next door. Just the idea of it was supposed to be enough.

Which leads me to my ultimate point: is it truly possible for our generation to love? To truly fall in love and it be the love that doesn't part until death (by natural causes, not by murder because you got so tired of them)? The love that I see when my Grampy comes home from the office and kisses my Grammy 1st thing after 60 years of marriage? The love that causes my dad to come home to my mom in the evenings as opposed to the country club bar with his friends? The love that no matter the trials, at the end of the day it's a man and a woman standing there; still holding hands, still looking into each other's eyes and no one else's. The love that despite arguments, trials, frustrations, and moments of "oh my gosh come here so I can ring your neck" conflict, still exists?

I truly don't know. I would like to believe in it, but I can't. Divorce is not only just an option anymore, it's part of the plan (i.e. what do you think a pre-nup means?!). It's trendy, it's acceptable, it's "no big deal". Our attention spans in this culture last all of 30 seconds... and then we are on to the next new and improved thing. Well, I've got bad news: the next new and improved thing is often a younger, better looking, more successful person. I don't know when or why this happened, but if you look at the divorce rates two generations ago and compare them to what happens now; the numbers speak for themselves... thus preventing me from believing that romantic love still exists. Rather, I'm afraid it's become a figment of imagination, a thing of the past that you see on the screen or read in a book but nothing more than that. The whole idea of "for better or worse, in sickness and in health" means nothing; even in dating relationships. When someone can walk away from someone in the midst of a life or death crisis because they don't want to "deal with" that, that further exemplifies the lack of understanding, commitment and essentially the level of selfishness that has been reached.

Regardless of the "royal wedding" that is coming in April, I have bad news: fairy tales don't exist. Maybe they did once, but not anymore. There are no princes, no princesses, and certainly no horse-drawn carriages to carry lovers into "happily ever after". Some may call it cynicism, but I call it reality... welcome to 2011.