Life and death. Then life?

This past year has been interesting... to say the least. I thought we were getting close to reaching a point of sanity... I was wrong. As I am facing 2 funerals and 3 almost funerals, I'm realizing the severity of what it's like when the final reality of a non-believer as that person enters eternity... to be forever separated from those who are believers. Scary, isn't it?

I'm not scared of death. Or at least, I'm not supposed to be. What's on the other side? The reality of doing nothing but praising the Maker of the Universe with no pain or suffering. What's on this side? Pain, poverty & pride. Why should I be afraid of death? I shouldn't be. Rather, I'm afraid of HOW I'm going to die.

Life... eternal life. How incredible of a gift; so thankful for the blessing of the redemption that covered my sins, though I'm so undeserving.

Oops!

I obviously had forgotten that I had become a "blogger". Temporary identity crisis we'll call it. Or something like that...

Either way, my opinions are still strong (if not stronger). If I wrote a post for everything on my mind right now, I'd be still typing next week at this time... maybe even the week after too. So instead, I will make a list. And as I see fit, I will edit and add to that list. So, here goes...


1. OIL SPILL: Yeah, it sucks... for a lot of reasons (namely the already hurting economy down there), but the finger pointing that the executives did? So doesn't bother me. At all. Why? Because it's ALL of their faults. They're all guilty, and yes... what they all said was probably true. However, I'm not one for "buck-passing". If you did something wrong, you need to take responsibility and fix it. But hey, that's just me. Thankfully we have such a "great" president to blow the whistle on their finger-pointing... besides, it's not HIS fault he didn't respond! It's the Bush administration's... DUH. Like you didn't already know that? Obama can do NO wrong... it's impossible. And all of these issues we have been dealing with? Total result of the insane George W. Bush's. Yep, allllllll G.W.'s fault. Every last thing. Especially this health care bill- I mean honestly, what was he thinking? Thankfully, Barack was there to reprimand the finger pointers... since he never does it, I'm just so glad he was there to "save the day". Give me a break.


2. CNN is running a special (I believe it's tomorrow... I watch it at the gym because it's on; not my fault they don't know the RIGHT news network to watch...) regarding how white parents are teaching their white children to hate black children. Wait, WHAT?! Yep, that's right... in 2010, white supremacy must have somehow reached its peak. Now, please... do NOT get me wrong. I am in NO way prejudiced, and in NO way do I think it's right to judge someone on the color of their skin. I have friends of varying races & religions and my thoughts on this are certainly not supremacist... simply my feelings and observations and blatant dislike for "political correctness". Gag me with a spoon.

OK, so that being said (please note that I am writing this in a stressed out mood and there is a lot of sarcasm laced into the wording of some of this)... do you know what the worst thing to be in today's world is? An American. For some reason, we're hated. Whatever. Let's focus on our country... what's the worst thing to be in our country? An evangelical Christian. Yep, can't beat it. Due to some of the stereotype (which unfortunately is based off truth that arises from a small group of people), we are pompous/judgemental prudes who think we're better than everyone else. So, so sad. But, that being said it's bad to be an American. It's REALLY bad to be a Christian American. Worse than that? A WHITE Christian American. Still more? Being an affluent/educated, white, Christian American. Finally? Being an EDUCATED, WHITE, CHRISTIAN, AMERICAN MALE.

Where am I going with this? Tebow... I'm going Tebow (which on another note, could totally become a slang term, but I'll wait on that...). What is the deal with people HATING the Tebow family? Is it really THAT hard to believe there are good people left in this society? If they were of another race, religion, starving and all girls, would it be different? Is it so bad to not use your fortune to grow your ego into womanizing and wasting money on harmful things? Ok, whatever; I guess that's two soapboxes in one.


3. Obamacare. Yep... won't go there. Been there; still feel the same. I will leave that stone unturned. For now.


4. Carmel bullying/hazing case. This is a tough one. I will start with the disclaimer that it was WRONG. Very wrong. I am in NO way condoning what those boys did. I think it's unfortunate and I absolutley thing they should be punished. However, kids are kids. And they are mean. REALLY mean. Obviously, I've never experienced the bullying of boys, but I have dealt with the bullying of girls, and maybe it's just my bias, but I am convinced that what girls do is WAY worse.

Granted (thankfully) there isn't the sexual humiliation and contact like there was in this particular case, and no real physical harm. But, the emotional/mental harm? It's unreal. And it lasts for forever. It's not an isolated event. It goes on for a long, long time. Hard to detect, hard to "catch", and even HARDER to recover from. There are no visible bruises on skin, no tests that can be run at a hospital to check for penetration, no nothing. Instead there is unbelievable pain, the brutal murder of one's confidence, and the robbery of one's ability to trust.

This case isn't just about the horrible things that happened to that freshman basketball player. No, this case represents how awful kids (and adults for that matter) have been allowed to behave and treat other people. This is the "exhibit A" if you will of what happens all over this country every single day. I don't know if it's a lack of security so people need to hurt others to feel fulfilled, or if it's the sheer entitlement mentality, but whatever it is, it has gotten WAY out of hand. It's so sad that people really don't know what it's like to be a friend anymore.


4. MARK SAUDER: Give me a break... x2. He's a good friend of my mom's... they grew up together, went to high school together. Mark's dad & mom's dad taught Sunday school together at the AC church (yet another post for another day). Mark's mom still goes to church there... with Gramps. Grabill is about the size of a pea. That pea, however, is larger than Cedarville. Leo, now Leo, is the booming metropolis. The "triple cities" as they're known.

But come on, really Mark? Highlight of his speech was this: "I'm sick and tired of politicians who...". Um, hello? Last time I checked, he IS one of those politicians he's sick and tired of. His wife of 30-something years? So she's not a size 4 anymore. So what? Does that entitle him to someone younger, thinner, more attractive? He's been in Congress longer than he said (exhibit A of him not having a problem breaking his word and not following through) and now this. Just when the middle of the road begins to think the left has all the answers, we, the "judgemental, conservative, right-wing prudes" back up our hypocrisy. Now, I am CERTAINLY not saying I am innocent. No, I've never cheated on my spouse, but I will say that every day I live, it is "by the grace of God, go I...". It just makes me sad. Sad for Mrs. Sauder and their children. Sad for the husband and family of the mistress. Sad for all of the people who bought into him and now feel deceived. Sad for the conservatives who now have to try to repair the damage that was done. Just sad.

Ok... enough of that. I shall return... eventually.

April 26, 2010

I have gotten very lackadaisical with my blogging. Guess life has just been more than I can handle... oh right, it has. But it's today that reminds me: I have a life... I'm alive. 4 years ago today, 5 wonderful people lost theirs. 5 people who were better than me... who made a positive impact on others; 5 people who weren't a continual drain on life... 5 people who were so in love with Jesus that though they had bad days, their circumstances didn't determine their joy because their joy was founded on the Rock.

It was 4 years ago today that I was faced with a decision: do I go with this whole "God thing"? Do I believe what I grew up learning about? Do I buy into it? Or, is it just a bunch of fluff that people believe in to make themselves feel better? It was 4 years ago today that I thought I'd lost one of the most amazing people I know... one who deserved to live because of the beauty of her spirit. It was 4 years today that I learned what tragedy was; what seeing people who were so, so precious lost in the blink of an eye. There were so many components to that evening... to that accident... to that night that were connected to the people in my world, to ALL of the people who were so greatly impacted by these incredible children of God.

I remember it all like it was yesterday... and not a day goes by that I don't question why them... instead of me. I'm sure that sounds as an insecure plea for someone to say "oh no, Kara, of course not". I'm certainly not saying that in search of an ego boost, rather because those peoples' faith, their impact, their presence was so GREAT. What I long to be, strive to be, and so badly fail at.

I was fortunate to get one of my closest friends back... someone who brings so much joy to so many; the type of person who knows what it's like to be a true friend. It was the tidal waves of emotion, confusion & doubt that forced me into evaluating my faith. As I reflect upon those lives, those memories and how it's changed me, all of the feelings that rush back (both good & bad) remind me of the Lord's omnipotence and mercy.

I take this life and every breath I take for granted so often... when in reality, my life, is "but a vapor"... nothing more.

Chivalry isn't dead?!

That's right; I'm 98% sure that chivalry isn't completely dead... yet. It is, however, dying, and that is quite unfortunate in my not-so-expert opinion.

I certainly can't speak for anyone else but myself on this issue, but I'm a fan of chivalry. A big fan. I've had the privilege of watching chivalrous men such as my father & grandfathers and I like it. I like the idea of gentlemen & ladies. I like the idea of manners (I was raised by the etiquette police, I can't help myself!). I like the idea of being protected, taken care of, provided for in the way God intended for a man to do for a woman.

Don't get me wrong; I'm independent. Extremely independent. Often, too independent. HOWEVER, I am in no way shape or form (and I pray I never will be anywhere near) a Femi-nazi. In fact, evidenced by previous posts, I have a strong dislike for the "I am woman, hear me roar" types. Give me a break. No you're not, you're just someone who is cynical, hasn't fallen in love and/or has been hurt. No one's heart is that hard, and if I'm wrong and they are, I feel really bad for those people.

Being a female is often no fun. Let's be serious here, females get to go through a lot of things that males don't have to. I'm not trying to be a self martyr or say that being a male is easy (I've never been, PTL, so I wouldn't know). What I am saying, is that we deal with things that will never fall under the category of "fun" regardless of how you position it.

Ok, back to the point here. Chivalry. The reason it's a dying art, is because we (the American female population, and yes unfortunately I have to include myself in this) are extremely guilty of either consciously or inadvertently squelching it. I saw something the other day that's really stuck with me:
I work in the largest building in the state of Indiana. People are constantly coming and going. I saw a man in his mid-30's hold the door for a woman in her mid-50's. Her response? To my demise, it wasn't the gracious "thank you" that should have been. Rather it was "what are you doing? I can get the door myself!" followed with a hasty sigh and dirty look.

COME ON LADIES. If we (and again, sadly enough I'm included) want gentlemen; want to be swept off our feet by our Prince Charming, then we MUST allow them to hold the broom and/or ride the white horse. It's no wonder men stopped doing chivalrous acts. If I were that 30 something guy, I wouldn't do it again! I'm not saying that this is all women's fault and that men aren't to blame to a degree (we all know it takes 2 to tango...) but what I am saying is that if this is truly something we want, and want to keep around, then we'd better do something about it.

You know what's even funnier? There is still a group of people that get that. Know who? Well, I will tell you: senior citizens. Know why? Because they get IT. And by IT I mean all of the things that we don't. Both genders of the older generations understand life and lived in a way that put us to shame. I was obviously born in the wrong generation. More on this subject to follow...

Synopsis

My opinion on Obama, his "Obamacare", as well as his "followers" (i.e. Joe open-mouth-insert-foot Biden and Nancy the-plastic-surgery-killed-my-little-brain Pelosi) aren't a secret. In fact, if communism comes to pass, I will probably be disposed of quickly. Eh, like the cheesy bumper sticker says, "my treasure is in Heaven".

My synopsis comes here. I can't take credit for it, but I feel it pretty much sums up the mess that our once great nation has become. Don't get me worng: I am still EXTREMELY proud to be an American. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else and my patriotism runs deep. That's why I respond this way: these whatever you want to call them people are trying to ruin this incredible country.

"So we just passed a health care plan written by a committee whose chairman said he didn't understand it, passed by a Congress that exempts themselves from it, signed by a president who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is... obese, and financed by a country that is broke."

Yep, I can see how this is a FANTASTIC idea. When I'm in the hospital next week for 3 days, I will report back what the overall thoughts of those in the medical field are. I'm sure they ought to be interesting. To say the least (the very least).

Obamacare my tail!

WHERE TO BEGIN?! Last night's events are enough to make me nauseas if I were 100% healthy! For those of us who are actually sick and are actually going to need health care, it's that much scarier. You've got the health scare side PLUS the American/tax-payer/freedom-lover side.

Can people TRULY not see through the charisma of this regime and TRULY not see them for what they are? Socialists who will stop at nothing to get what they want?! What so many don't realize, is that it's not just healthcare; this isn't enough. The brew-ha-ha's want control of EVERYTHING. They won't stop here.

The entitlement mentality of our society is beyond scary, beyond sad, beyond pathetic. I'm pretty sure this video (courtesy of the oh so wonderful FoxNews), as well as every word that comes out of Glenn Beck & Mike Pence sums it up...

SHAME ON US

The power of prayer

Prayer is a powerful thing. That is a cliche statement. As well as a considerable UNDERstatement. The idea of prayer, if one sits down to actually thing about it, is nothing short of incredible. A direct line to the Creator of the universe. The opportunity for free and open communication to the maker of the heavens. Instant contact to the Ruler of all. To call it incredible seems like a grave understatement as well.

I can't speak for anyone else on this matter, but it's something I take for granted. Sometimes, I do it out of obligation "because I'm supposed to as a Christian". Sometimes, I feel like I'm talking to the ceiling and that there isn't anyone to hear. Other times, it's when I feel the closest to my Savior. Other times, it is the strength my soul needs and it grants me the divine peace to get through what lies ahead.

As my faith has grown deeper & my Christian walk more consistent, I continually become more and more grateful for prayer. The simple prayer on the inside to the audible conversations I have with my Jesus. It's unreal to me that the one who built the mountains and created the deep oceans cares about the relatively small & insignificance that is me and my life. SOMEHOW my fears, concerns, joys, frustrations, and shortcomings MATTER to the Lord. Because of prayer, I gain wisdom & knowledge on how to handle certain situations, stregnth & peace in times of need, and I GET to praise Him. I get to thank Him, worship Him, and talk to Him. Not only that, but He listens. I'm STILL trying to wrap my mind around this simple idea.

As I have been walking through a valley that seems to keep getting deeper, my appreciate for prayer and my understanding of what it means have both grown exponentially. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have this personal relationship (not religious practice) with the One who sacrificed for my sins. The power of prayer is something I know is deep, but I'm not sure the human, finite mind will ever be able to TRULY grasp. Thank you Lord, for that.

If you're going to be famous, you'd better be good at something...

Please don't get me wrong. I have ZERO problem with famous people. I will even admit to having bought many magazines over my lifetime that are of the likes of People, Us Weekly, OK!, etc. I'm not a regular reader but when you're at the airport or in a doctor's office (2 places I seem to spend a lot of my time), then they make for good reading. If nothing else, it allows me to put my mind in neutral for some time and try to pretend like I care what all of these people who live much different lives than I, do.

That being said, if I'm going to read about you/hear about you on TV/have some TMZ thing pop up when I'm online about you, there'd better be a reason. The ONLY person who I actually like who is famous for reality TV is Lauren Conrad off the hills. First of all, she's not the typical drama queen who is ruining the world with one stupid comment at a time. Oh, and? She works. A job. It's in fashion, she obviously has great style and I saw a TV commercial advertising her line at Kohl's the other day, so she is at least making some kind of contribution to this world other than being annoying and dumb.

You know who I like to read about? Jennifer Aniston (because I like her). Michelle Obama (I don't like her, but she works for good causes). Faith Hill & Tim McGraw because they make beautiful music and have a clue about marriage & family. Even Tiger Woods (though he gets on my nerves & I don't agree with his choices) at least he's good at something. Potentially the greatest golfer to ever play the game. You know who I don't like to hear about? Paris Hilton, the Kardashians, Spiedi. All of them are not only not contributing to the world, they are taking away. They have been escalated to A-list status for reasons I'm still unsure of. Whatever, that's a whole other topic.

That leads me to the final group of people: all of those in between. They're not contributing, not taking away. Sometimes they do good things, sometimes they don't. Which leads me to the purpose of this post: Lindsay Lohan. I will admit, I used to love the movie "The Parent Trap", the one from the 90's that she was in. Loved it. Owned it. Watched it often. However, since then, though she has been in several decent things (i.e. Mean Girls... if you call that decent, I still admit I didn't hate it...), it's been her personal life and bad decisions that we've heard most about.

If you know me at all, you know what of my favorite commercials of ALL time is that e-trade baby that premiered at this year's superbowl: you know, the milkaholic? I watch it over and over and over. AND it's always as funny (if not funnier) than the time before. That is a GREAT piece of marketing. It came out yesterday that Lindsay Lohan is suing e-trade over the use of her likeness. And not JUST suing, but suing for $100 MILLION.

She's NOT EVEN A GOOD ACTRESS. Forget the fact that the name "Lindsay" is popular. Forget the fact that babies (all of them) ARE milkaholics. Funny... they need it to survive. Just because she has an addictive personality, somehow (probably because the whole world is about her) this refers to her. What on earth is this world coming to? Anyone??

...and the greatest of these, is LOVE.

Love is a funny thing. ("It makes one man weak, and another man sing..." -obnoxious Huey Lewis lyrics. Rewind to the 1980's). In my opinion, it may be one of the most over used, over marketed, misunderstood and often flippant terms of the English language.

What is Love? (...baby don't hurt me... no more...) Ha, ok, enough with the cheesy lyrics. But SERIOUSLY. I could probably sit here and come up with a bazillion sets of song words, titles, poems, etc. to back up the various aspects of it.

I'm now going to be really honest. I haven't the foggiest idea what love is. Per se. Do I love? Yes. My Savior, my family, pasta, exercise, shopping, etc. Notice the decline in importance? While I'm aware that my humanity prevents me from being capable of loving the way Jesus loves me, my daily journey to love more like the Lord does has posed some interesting questions. Those questions are now causing me to evaluate what "love" is; thus sparking the age old debate between love/lust/infatuation/like, etc.

I've decided to identify & define examples of love to hopefully clear up my understanding and definition...
1. The Bible. The whole thing. Every word. Period.
2. The way Grandpa Pete spent every day of 52 years next to Grandma Helen's side. Especially the last of those 3 years as the Alzheimer's turned her into a vegetable. She lived at the nursing home. Basically, so did he.
3. The looks I see my parents give one another when they think no one notices. The random hand holding in the car, the occasional middle of the day phone call, the special trip for no reason. After 26 years of marriage, they are truly more in love than ever before.
4. The eye roll that Grammy Barb gives Grampy Paul when he comes home at 10:00 from the hospital. She tries so hard to act annoyed (because she usually is), but after 57 years of marriage, she's still not fooling anyone.
5. Grandpa Rex's complete inability to pick out clothes to wear or accomplish anything without Gramma Ruthie's assistance. He may have been able to be a corporate executive for 47 years, but let's be serious... he can't match socks with shoes. He needs her. He wants to need her.
6. My little cousin Jack's NEED to fill up his mom's drink. He'll fill it to the brim, then shove it in her face and say "here mom, take a sip"! Even at a young age, he wants to love her.

Is there a common theme here? Yes. Is it romance? No. Male/female interaction? No. It's servant-hood. It's the desire to serve because the love is so abundant. It's the ultimate manifestation of the so over-used 1 Corinthians 13. It's an unbelievable desire to be wanted, needed, cared for. Because the love is TRUE & GENUINE there is no self-seeking, self-fulfilling angle. Rather, there is this pure aspect of service; because ultimately one party gets what they want & need by providing what the other wants & needs. It's not about anything but making sure that other person has joy, feels fulfilled & is taken care of. That's all the lover desires. Is for the one whom they love to be completely at peace.

Love is a funny thing... it may not be "all you need", a "battlefield" or always "in the still of the night", but it IS "what makes the world go 'round" and it IS "powerful".

Fly on the wall.

There's this old cliche that my Grandma Helen used to love: "oh to be a fly on the wall". AND she said it as nauseum (similar to how she used all of her cliches to that extent...)

Anyways, had you been a fly on the wall at my parent's house yesterday, you'd have probably gotten a good laugh.

For instance...
K: (making fun of my health problems) I named my thyroid Bertha. And she's a BIG pain in my butt.
Glenn (my cousin's husband): Wouldn't you call that a hemorrhoid?

OR...
Hunter (my little cousin): So there was this one time...
Glenn (also his father): I get nervous when you start telling stories. We should prescreen them.

and...
Gramps: Kara Leigh, you've gained more weight!
K: Well Shorty, you're certainly not getting any skinnier.
Gramps: Hey, at least I don't have to still try to find a spouse.
K: That's a good thing... you're too short to be found!

then there's...
Jodi (looking through my parent's wedding album): Look how skinny I was...
Glenn: I remember when you were skinny!
Jodi: (mouth hanging open)
Glenn: Oh my gosh, I have no way to get out of this...

oh yeah...
Daddy: Kara, keep your fingers out of the food.
K: (picking fruit out of the bowl) NO.
Daddy: YES.
K: (chasing after him with pinching fingers) EW my fingers are red from the juice... AHHH

finally...
K: she called her special
Jodi: I thought that was the best way to put it... she's "special"
Glenn: Special? Ha, yeah. Special ED (leaves the kitchen convulsing in laughter)

Gramps' final thoughts on the day: "Kara Leigh, you are in big trouble. Not only are you pudgy, NO one is going to EVER want to marry into this mess."

"Oh this life..."

My best friend has been trying her best to make that a popular statement in today's society. I can't speak for the rest of the world, but it's sure become my anthem.

A wise man (my most favoritest football player to ever put on football pants) that there are always going to be obstacles, but that you must enjoy the ride. Well TT, that's what I'm doing. You & your wisdom are always welcome in my world.

Anyways. Today is March 1. This date carries several connotations.
1. It is the last of the 3 months that I hate (Jan., Feb., Mar.) Once I move to FL, hopefully my feelings will change. Until then, it's Indiana at its worst.
2. Today is the beginning of a long journey with Shorty. He will have both chemo & radiation every day for the next 5 weeks. So thankful I got to see him yesterday, and I know Jesus is in control... I just hope he fights.
3. Tomorrow is Gramma Ruthie's hip replacement. We can only pray that her thin body can handle the anesthetic. Once she gets into rehab post-surgery, she will then start fighting this mass this is sitting where her thyroid used to be.
4. March 10 is my d-day. And by d-day I mean D-DAY. EEK.
5. That blasted boy that has spent the last 5 days here leaves. Well good. I had to run into everyone under the sun that I didn't care about except for him. Not even a glimpse of his entourage. LAME.
6. Starting today, due to my circumstances (that's what we'll call them...) I am no longer allowed to have chocolate or soda. Though we all know I could only drink diet before, now I'm done for good. Oh gracious. I went out and bought caffeine pills last night, because I'm not going to give myself migraines on top of it all.

ALL of that being said, I look at it this way. Not very often does the 1st of the month fall on a Monday. So today is not only a new day and week, it's a new month. Spring comes in 20 days, and I pray it will start going up from here.

"Special"

This word comes with several stories behind it. Beth Anne knows the comical ones; where the word is appropriate yet so often over used by one of our most favorite people. His use of it is nothing less than precious, though I would contend, it may be time to find a new adjective... just sayin'...

In this particular moment, however, "special" is just down right absurd. My extended family? Yeah, well... they're special. As I was on the phone with my cousin yesterday, she used the word to describe her extremely challenging/borderline crazy mother as "special". What she REALLY meant was that she's NUTS and it was the nicest way she could think to put it. Essentially, it was the rated "G" version of her thoughts.

Given the latest turn of events, I think "special" could be used to describe the current circumstances. OR it could be used to discuss this bizarre new case. Regardless of how one looks at it, does anyone even really know the REAL meaning of the word?

Snow, Snow, Snow, SNOWWWW

If you know me, you know my favorite movie of all time is "White Christmas". If you don't know me, then let me tell you: my favorite movie of all time is "White Christmas". It's the 1st movie to be made in color, it features some of the best talent, the cheesy/romantic undertones all centered around my favorite time of year make it irresistible to me. Pathetic, yet true, I can quote EVERY line, I know EVERY lyric by heart and I (at one point) knew every dance move. Don't get me wrong, the dances moves weren't smooth, but I knew them nonetheless.

It'd be really annoying to watch it with me, I'd guess, as I sit and say all the lines with all the characters, sing all the songs (and if you've heard me sing, you KNOW how bad that is), and occasionally I will jump off the couch and do a little jig.

I give all of that useless information as a precursor to this: SNOW. Part of the way into the movie, Bing, Rosemary, Vera, & Danny sing a song about snow. It's a cozy scene of the 4 on the train heading to Vermont. You can feel the attraction between characters as the scene descends from a point of tension. Given that it's in December and it's the Christmas season, it's fun and heart-warming. Given that we are currently half-way through February, it's not. I detest snow UNLESS it's between November 20 and January 1. Before or after, it's really not my thing.

But go figure; I live in Indiana. Where currently, there is almost a foot of snow on the ground. My favorite weatherman told me this morning that we just broke a record for snowfall in February. Well isn't that just fantastic. It takes twice as long to go ANYWHERE, my car turns a funny shade of gray due to the salt, and my lack of coordination proves dangerous when outside.

Interestingly enough, the winter Olympics are currently going on in CANADA where they brought in 150 truckloads of snow. Did I miss something here? 49 of the 50 states got snow last week... we got 3 (literally 3) winter storms in ONE (literally 1) week.

Spring, PLEASE hurry. Hurry before I lose what little sanity I have left. Bring rain; I don't care, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE bring temperatures above 50, no snow and something green (or at least something that looks alive) to the outside. MUCHAS GRACIAS.

Quiet time?

When I think of "quiet time" I think of solitude, silence, & serenity. I do not think about getting hit upside the head with reality. My mistake. My thoughts have been shifted.

I am oh so slowly making my way through the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. My slow rate of movement can be attributed to a couple of things...
Thing 1: I struggle with consistency in my devotions (it is, however, improving)
Thing 2: It is DEEP. I don't want to miss any part of it so I re-read what I just read.
Thing 3: It hits me upside the head. Continuously. To the point of headaches. And heart aches.

SO, that being said, I'm working on it. I am enjoying the pain, as it is shedding light on a lot of "trials" I am currently wading through and it's caption is enough to knock anyone over: "overwhelmed by a RELENTLESS God". Relentless. As in HE (the creator of the universe) is NOT giving up on me. He's not leaving me. He's not forsaking me. And my oh my, He IS overwhelming. His majesty, his love, his grace, mercy, blessings; they're all in such great abundance that as soon as I fix my eyes on Him I am overwhelmed.

I strongly recommend it... more on this topic to come...

Dusting off my soapbox... it's coming back!

As previously discussed, I tend to be on the passionate side. Too much on that side at times. In reference back to some of my earlier posts, I have an opinion to voice in response to the Focus on the Family ad that had me all excited.

I liked the ad. Thought it was funny. In no way could it have been offensive to anyone. I don't think I'm saying that just because I agree with all involved parties, but I truly thought it was about as "chill" as it could have possibly been.

BUT, how dumb am I? (Don't answer that... it's a rhetorical question.) I should have KNOWN that some stupid someone somewhere would freak out about it. And ding, ding, ding, it was the feminazis at NOW (seen in the above picture).

I want to clarify a couple of things before I continue. First of all, I'm a Christian. Second, I admire and respect the Tebow family. Third, I STRONGLY disagree with abortion. Fourth, I have a good sense of humor. Fifth, I am an independent female who can survive without anyone (save my Lord from that statement; Jesus Christ is my rock and I can't survived without Him). HOWEVER, I am old-fashioned and I do not want chivalry to die. In NO way am I a feminist, and certainly not a femiNAZI. Therefore, this unfortunate breed is (thankfully) not in any way connected to me. I believe that everyone has a right to have their own opinion (assuming it's educated) however, I don't have to like it/agree with it.

I mean really... violence against women?! These messed up, menstrual beings are attacking the TEBOW FAMILY for violence against women? Come now... I thought I had heard it all...
Clinton's "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"
Obama's inability to take his inaugural oath without a practice round
Jessica Simpson's "chicken of the sea"
...and I could go on. However, I don't think the stupidity in those 3 things combined can even begin to compare to accusing a family who is known for their faith, gentle spirits, humanitarian work, sacrifices, integrity, etc. for somehow promoting violence against women.

EVEN IF I didn't agree with/like the Tebows & Focus on the Family, I would say this: unfortunately, there are TONS of instances when violence against women is not only portrayed, but often encouraged. WHY on earth is NOW not attacking them?! I mean, Snoop Dogg can show up to an awards show with 2 women who have collars around their neck hooked to leashes; songs can contain whatever lyrics they like as "personal expression" and celebrities who beat their wife can get out of charges by claiming the women deserved what they got.

Is it just me or is something TOTALLY wrong with this picture? Is our society so unfamiliar with someone standing up for and actually doing the right thing that the concept can't be fathomed? Are we so conditioned to believe everyone has (negative) ulterior motives we don't believe it's even possible for a human to do the right thing for the right reason and actually believe in something?

I certainly hope that's not the case...

"a little too irconic, yeah I really do think...."

I am an extremely passionate & opinionated... to say the least, the very least. Now, in recognizing this strength/flaw (however one chooses to look at it), I try my best to never be ignorant on something if I'm going to have an opinion. In my little brain, the right to be opinionated isn't a right. It's a privilege that comes with knowledge. (Ignorance is one of my biggest pet peeves, judgemental-ness is a close second...)

FOR INSTANCE: If I don't know someone, I can't like/dislike them. I need to be a neutral party until I have enough experience to form thoughts (what others say isn't enough for me). OR public education/state schools... I went to a private college because that was best for me. I have no basis to form opinions on whether or not it is good or bad.

That being said, I consider myself relatively informed on certain social issues, politics, and some politicians. I don't think so highly of myself or have any disillusions that I'm an expert, but I feel I have enough information in my grasp on which to make an informed opinion.

With ALL of that background information, I find it EXTREMELY ironic/oximoronic that Hillary Clinton of ALL people would be the keynote speaker at the National Prayer Breakfast. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I have the authority to judge where she stands in terms of a faith or religious views. I most certainly do not and will not. I form my opinion on the basis of the statements she makes and the stand she's chosen to take on issues like abortion, gay marriage, etc. On top of all of that, to have Tim Tebow (especially en lieu of the current outrage of the left-wing American media over the Tebow's Superbowl ad) as the closing speaker is more than I can wrap my mind around.

There was a 22-yr. old, recent college graduate at a table with the people who essentially rule the world. If that wasn't divine intervention, I don't know what is. I don't believe in coincidence, but I do believe in irony. And THIS qualifies as a line to put into Alanis' song, "Ironic".

Superbowl BOUND! :)

Having grown up, gone to school & stayed (for some unknown, yet absurd reason) in Indiana for 23 years, I know 1st hand about the lack of excitement that is around here. That being said, it doesn't take much to become excited... "it's the little things". However, when your team makes it to the Superbowl (regardless of where you're from/currently reside) it IS a big deal and it IS exciting.

Lucky for me, I live in the city and am a huge fan of the Indianapolis Colts and hot dog... we're in the 2010 Superbowl! We are back to Miami only 3 years after we won against the Bears. Even if one isn't a football fan (though I am), the city is alive with enthusiasm and it's a lot of fun to see our hometown boys on the national scene.

Seeing how people respond, however, is absolutely half of the excitement. All of the parochial schools are closed on "Super Monday", IPS has a 2 hour delay, & some aren't allowed to wear blue on "Super Friday". Now, let's take a logical look at this: the game doesn't start until 6:15ish, tag on all of the commercials (namely the FOF one featuring the Tebows), the halftime show, etc., we will be fortunate to have it all over before 11:00 p.m.

What child is going to go to bed during that? Granted I'm not a parent, but I don't know of any. Furthermore, these kids who are used to 8-9 hours of sleep at night, would be totally worthless on Monday morning. Blue is a primary color. What is SO wrong with giving them a little extra sleep so the time they DO spend at school is more worthwhile and allowing them to wear one of the 3 base colors on the colorwheel??

All of these parents are FREAKING out about kids missing 2 hours of school on ONE morning when in all honesty, their kids aren't going to learn anything then anyways. Uniforms? I mean really? How often does something of this caliber happen in this forsaken state? Give me a break. Let the kids sleep (props to the private schools for giving the whole day) and let them show some team pride... we should be thankful there's something to have pride in!

Through the eyes of a child...

As I start the 2nd month of a new decade, I am still overwhelmed with much... good, bad, and otherwise. I have found that 24 hours in a day aren't enough, I have watched several dreams be shattered, and I continue allow myself to be hurt by others.

While I am totally aware that my Jesus is in control, and that regardless of what the future holds, HE is the one who holds the future. I still seem to struggle with surrendering to that knowledge. To put aside all of my wants and desires and just "roll with it". It reminds me of a conversation I had this summer with my little protege, Callie, when she said, "Miss Kara, when I grow up, I want to be just like you". I laughed and said, "no, Callie, you are going to be WAY cooler than me". To which she responded, "yeah, you're probably right".

I have wondered many times why she'd ever say something like that. Why anyone would ever want to be like me? I have a list of failures ten miles long, a list of successes that fits on a post-it note, and no evident talents/strengths/gifts. I close my eyes and dream dreams that when I put my feet back onto planet earth I realize will never come true. I trust, just to be let down. I try, but I fail. Though I am aware mentally that the Lord loves me & I believe His word when He tells me I was created in His image, I have the hardest time wrapping my emotional intelligence (or lack there of) around it.

Then it occurred to me, that like Callie, Jesus looks at me through the eyes of a child. That six year old little girl doesn't really care what I've done/not done/succeeded at/failed at... rather, she loves me. Just because. I love on her, listen to her, put make up on her, haul her around on my back, and all of those little things that I don't give another thought to seem to be treasures in her young heart. Much that way, Jesus loves me because I am His. He doesn't care if I fail, fall down, or royally mess up because He knows that (though I don't always act like it) I desire in my heart to love, follow, and worship him.

Now, if only I could learn to see through those same, young eyes. If I could see obstacles, trials, and valleys as they are. If I could rejoice in success and be invigorated by failure. I feel as though I have a childlike faith in that I don't demand evidence (maybe because I'm simply not that intelligent) but I truly believe His word to be true. That being said, I ask: God, please, give me the eyes of a child...

My best friend.

Today is Thursday. We are now 3 days away from a day I have been dreading for months. My best friend moves to Peru for 3 years (technically 2 1/2, but it'll seem like a lifetime). It's funny... I have been struggling so, yet not only do I have so many blessings, I have more than a best friend... I have a sister.

The Lord has used her in my life to do so much and be a rock of support through some of my darkest hours. Her faith, her willingness to follow the Lord's call, her servant's spirit, her loyalty, sense of humor, and vigor for life have impacted me more than I could have ever imagined. How can I be so selfish to want her to stay with me when I know our God is about to use her to do all that and more for so many others in Peru? Shame on me!

I couldn't be more thankful or blessed for the friendship that I have taken for granted and not returned in the way I should have. Thank you Lord, for revealing yourself to me through one of your most wonderful creations. Thank you, Bethy for your friendship. I love you. :)

Lonliness

It's been almost 2 weeks since I've written anything... no wonder I am stressed!

Loneliness is a funny thing. I live in a city of a million plus, work in the tallest building in the state, in an office of 50 something, yet I have never been so lonely in my entire life. I have a Savior who never leaves me, parents with whom I communicate with daily, a best friend & a sister... yet I'm still lonely.

Granted I don't have what I ultimately desire (save the Lord) in terms of a husband and eventually children, nor do I have friends in Indy, but regardless, this lonely? Really? At the conference in Chicago last week, I was in the 3rd largest American city with over 3,000 Northwestern Mutual people and I felt as if I lived in a whole other hemisphere with only me, myself & I.

I wonder why that is? Do I dislike myself that much that any time I spend with just me is pain staking? Am I that discontent in my relationship with the Lord that I neglect to feel and/or acknowledge His presence? Or is it because I'm really that disliked that the feelings I feel are not only real, but accurate? Is it because I know what I want and I don't have it? Have I really been hurt so bad by people that my heart is too shattered to carry on?

I don't know. So many questions; all without answers. What's even more bizarre, is that the only time I'm actually, physically, alone, is when I feel the least lonely. Is that because others aren't around to highlight my insecurities? Does the lack of comparisons I can make play a role?

Why am I so gosh darn inquisitive? Would I feel less lonely if I stopped asking so many flipping questions?

One would think...

On a (relatively) warm Thursday when the sun is shining and my schedule is busy, after a night of sleep in a safe apartment, after a good work out (not to mention the ability to do so), with food in my stomach, clothes on my back, and a job to pay my bills, one would think I would be walking around with a smile on my face.

One would think. I'm saved by grace through faith, I live in a free country (the greatest country in the world, in my humble opinion), I have a mobile body, I'm in my 20's, I have a job, a place to live, a car to drive, an intact family, people that I love, an education, clean water, and I don't live in fear or danger. I'm not in Haiti where hell literally broke loose, no one close to me has recently passed away, and I'm fighting through. One would think (logically, of course) that I should be happy, energized, enthused about life. With countless blessings and relatively minimal hardships, I should literally be jumping out of my skin with happiness and joy.

BUT, I'm not. How selfish am I, I mean really?! Given all that I have, it's somehow not enough? I still battle feelings of depression? Lonliness? Seriously?

I'm scared, I'm angry, I feel like I'm failing at all of the responsibilities I have taken on (and unfortunately there isn't much evidence currently to disprove that), and I'm lonely. The God who created the Universe loves me, yet I am selfish enough to be lonely. Wow. I am living my life on the edge of tears; the edge of a physical/mental/emotional breakdown. Not only can I not see the trees for the forest, I can't see the forest at all. Somehow, I have allowed myself to become so wrapped up and absorbed in myself (which is rather ironic considering I'm not doing well at ANYTHING, so essentially I'm wrapped up in crap) and I can't figure out how to unwrap it all. Complete and utter surrender? Oh sure I know that's the right thing to do, do I have a clue how to do it though? Nope. No way. Have I tried? Yes. Have I failed? Miserably.

I'm realizing (in this selfish state in which I reside) I am failing at everything. Everything from my job (I mean would it kill me to remember a file before a meeting?!) to making the Lord the center of my life, to keeping up with daily tasks. My emotions are paralyzing me, and I can't get out. Lord, I cry out to you. Please help me. Get me OUT.

One would think the Lord could do it... (obviously, because one KNOWS "nothing is impossible w/ the Lord").

Who are "they" anyway?

The poster child for "thinks they're an expert but aren't/ignorant ninny muggin" type -->

One so often hears, "well you know what they say..." or "they say you should [or shouldn't as it may be]..." or "they recommend [or discourage as it may be]"... etc. Who on earth are THEY?! Furthermore, what gives them the clout to say whatever they're saying or not saying or doing or not doing anyway!?

It's rather interesting how fact and fiction are so often confused today and how regardless of one's credentials, anyone can be considered an "expert" on anything. I must be too old fashioned, closed minded, or just down right dumb, because I don't understand.

That being said, whomever they are says, "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all". Well nu-uh. I don't agree. I think that's a big pile of mushy gushy, supposed to make one feel warm & fuzzy inside, lovey dovey crap. (There are obviously other terms I could use, but I'll keep it G-rated.)

Who on earth came up with that lousy concept? I mean really? All that pain? Come on... love only causes pain when it ends (which of course poses the question of whether it was ever really there to begin with, but that's a whole other issue...). So if it ended, it obviously wasn't the "til death do you part" sort of love, so in all honesty, was it worth it? I think not.

After losing the only "love" (again, if you can call it that) and realizing I had to let something that I loved go (separate situation) I firmly believe I am not better off for having lost either thing. Frankly, if it were up to me, I think I would have opted to not have either instance enter my life in the first place. I am no better for having gone through either thing. In fact, given the lovely emotions that accompanied the situations (hurt, pain, blatant anger...) I can guarantee this wear & tear on my heart only made me more cynical, certainly not stronger.

Whoever "they" are, obviously never loved. They obviously never felt the pain of getting their heart broken, their self esteem shattered, and their trust in people completely destroyed. Whomever "they" are must be some lonely people to have made such a statement. All I can figure is "they" must be related to Murphy (of Murphy's law) and you know what they say about him... he was an optimist.

In conclusion, "they" the non-expert, cousins of that stupid optimistic Murphy we all hate, obviously can not be trusted (evidenced by this one of many examples).

Feast or Famine

I am telling you what... everything about this life is feast or famine. If it's raining, it's not a light drizzle... it's a torrential down pour. If it's a sunny period of life, we aren't talking partly sunny, it's a you'd better wear your SPF 1093 or you're going to get fried kind of sunny.

Depending on how one segments their life, they will find in each segment (not necessarily life as a whole) this rule remains true. Either everything is going right OR everything is going wrong. Period. Either you're healthy OR you're not. You are single or your door is being beaten down by supposed Prince Charmings. Either you're bored or you're so busy you can't see straight and don't remember the last time you slept. The jeans fit OR they don't.

It's never about the glass being half-full or half-empty. It's about the glass overflowing (and at times making a mess) OR the glass being so dry it almost cracks.

Just one of the bazillion thoughts that runs through my head...

My God is Mighty to Save

You know, it's weird. Bad things happen to good people and inversely, good things happen to bad people. The Lord will never cause His children pain, however he allows it because we live in a fallen world and though we have been saved by grace through faith, we are all still sinners.

Just when I think things can't get too much worse and my own personal sky is in fact falling, perspective knocks on my door then hits me up side the head. (And repeats, if necessary.) As I endure these struggles, I do so trying to rely on my own strength and though I don't blame God, I get a little agitated with thing after thing after thing going wrong. I know He doesn't cause them, and I am certainly aware I deserve it all and THEN some.

Yet it can... it CAN get worse. And unfortunately, it does. However, in this particular situation, not for me. For millions of people who already have nothing, their nothing is taken away from them through the earth literally crashing down around them for approximately 15 seconds. People dead, injured, trapped. Those who had some form of shelter now have none. Innocent lives lost, young and old alike. And while the Lord most certainly did NOT cause that tragedy and I KNOW it broke His heart to watch, He uses it for good to glorify His name. He uses it to put life into focus for absurd people like myself who are so far beyond blessed, who yes have to deal with trials, but who doesn't? How dare I get discouraged, how dare I ask "why", how dare I feel like I have it so badly when I truly don't understand what BAD is.

Forgive me Lord, please, as though I often sin and fall short of your glory, I seem to live in this selfish planet that blinds me from seeing past my own nose. As I pray for these people, I am reminded yet again of how self-absorbed I am and how ashamed I should be of myself. Though Jesus took that shame, it's not such a bad thing if it will remind me to stop dwelling on my own petty matters when I should instead use that energy to the good of the Lord and furthering HIS kingdom. My God is might to save, and I ask that He breaks my heart for what breaks His...

I suck at this...

I have always been a control freak. Not power hungry, just control hungry. I orchestrate, plan, re-orchestrate, and re-plan until I am blue in the face. What's so bizarre, though, is that I'm not even good at it! They say "practice makes perfect" so one would think that I'd be STELLAR at it. But no.

Thus I am really bad at, and I mean SUCK at surrendering to the Lord. I can't seem to give it up and rely on Him, follow Him, trust Him. I want what I want and I try to make it happen and then I get frustrated when I fail. Ironic isn't it? The One who created the universe wants to direct my life and show me where to go, yet instead of following I buck the trend and fall on my face.

I so badly want to move to Jacksonville, I so badly want to go to the Philippines, I so badly want to be married, I so badly want to be healthy. I know in my head that everything happens for a reason and ultimately I'm not in control, yet my heart can't seem to get the picture. Which of course, ultimately causes more pain.

I guess it goes back to the original question: WHY.

Lipscomb University??

Guess it's in Nashville? Before today, I've never heard of it. It's now on my top places to visit... more specifically on the 17th of April around oh say... 7:30?

Oh the things you do for love...

Why can't Taylor do things like that? I mean they waited until I graduated to have any good chapel speakers (save Dr. Farmer). I mean come on... Mitch Daniels AND Jim Caldwell in ONE semester? The FIRST semester post my graduation? Obvious conspiracy. (I can say that in jest, but scary that there are people out there who DO think that highly of themselves... oh well topic for another day.)

Well I may not be able to focus to finish a thought, but I can sure be proactive. Guess who has a conference call scheduled with Skip Trudeau later? Little does he know he's going to be playing matchmaker and a pivotal role in my future...

I talk a lot... (Obviously)

Things I say...

"Oh this life" -thanks to my boyfriend Beth
"Shut the door!"/"Hold the phone!" -both of which mean "OMG no way!"
"Game on."
"Game over."
"Well isn't that make my day fantastic..." -Sarcasm
"I'm going to shoot myself in the face..." -again, thanks to Bethy Anne
"FML" -not nice, but lately, quite applicable

Favorite word in the English language? "Special". Hands down. It is my favorite adjective from my favorite man.

The Value of Friendship

People come and people go. Friends are hard to come by. TRUE, genuine, REAL friends are beyond rare. I truly believe that losing them is one of the worst tragedies in this life. Friendship is crucial not only to the survival of the human race, but also to it's thriving successes. Without it, the loneliness is overwhelming, and often unbearable.

I am so thankful to my best friend & Savior for blessing me with a couple of these gems. My mother, though we often fight like sisters has taught me what it means to be a friend. My sister-in-law has been my rock through one of the darkest periods of my life, and I truly couldn't be more thankful.

Nothing in this world; other people, another hemisphere, the business of life, could ever break these bonds that have been formed and for that I am eternally grateful. I can't imagine my life without these pivotal people or who I'd be if it weren't for their love & influence. There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord has put theses amazing women into my life to show me His love in the flesh as it seems to be easy for me to forget about it.

I will never be able to return the favor to these 3, but I will always be eternally grateful for their love, patience, & loyalty.

Carrie Underwood is my HERO.

"If it wasn't for guys like you, there wouldn't be songs like this..."
"I'll move on when the desert floods & the grass turns blue..."
"This is my temporary home... this is not where I belong..."


I could continue, but the point is made. When I don't know how to put my feelings into words, I can find a Carrie song to do it for me 100% of the time.

As my heart is breaking and my world is crashing, I know I'm about to come into many more times where I won't know what to say. Music is a gift from the Lord to speak for us when we are unable.

Here goes this ride... so thankful that my Savior is navigating the way through these turbulent waters. "This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going..." Thus beginning the series of the small thinks for which I am thankful: music. In this case, namely Carrie Underwood's.

The 23 yr. old hag...

After having gone out with the girls on Saturday, I realized (not for the first time either) that I am an old woman stuck in a 23 year old body (which hasn't been acting 23 either, so maybe that's why...?)

Proof that I do go out from time to time -->

Due to the last several months of circumstances, it was the first time I'd gone out since like Halloween maybe? Either way, it'd been awhile. And though it's never been habitual, it had been a longer break than normal. Which leads me to this... I walked in and was like "WHOA I do NOT belong here". I'm not a prude, and while I may be more on the conservative side I'm not judgmental or hardnosed. HOWEVER... the atmosphere, the people, the clothes, etc. revealed to me yet another place I don't belong: "in da club".

Not to mention, my staying up until 5:00 that next morning still makes me feel sick a day later. When did this happen? Though I've never been the life of the party or the Energizer bunny, one would at least think I could withstand a little fun.

Nope, not me. I began to think about how I got to this point and here is what I came up with...
1. The obvious in terms of physical ailments.
2. I don't do it often enough, because really... who would I go with?
3. I get up at 4:00 every morning during the week and go to bed at like 8:00... naturally my body wouldn't be used to different hours.
4. I've always required sleep and been early to bed (never this bad, but hey, it's a factor!)
5. The 2.5 hours I spent in the gym killing myself earlier that day. <-- DING DING we have a winner.
6. The mood that I was in due to the latest less than kosher moves some people have pulled. <-- DING DING yet another winner.

Oh well. At the end of the day, I've deduced I am a SUPER in shape, SUPER pissed of old hag. It is what it is. The girls in the club? Well, I'm not one of them... thank goodness!

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all..."

Or so says my grandmother...

<--(a classic "thats what she said")

Due to this truth, I will refrain from sharing any thoughts today as everything I'd like to share would be the antithesis of uplifting and kind... in fact, I'm not even sure one could say "calm".

This temporary leave of absence will last as long as it takes for me to cool it. Never in my life have i been SO angry and SO hurt by someone. Basically, fooled would be the word... especially at a time like this.

Game over.

Hook 'em Horns???

I am a Cubs fan.
I am a Colts fan.
I am a Gators fan.

With the exception of my poor Cubbies, I am used to winning. I like winning. I am too blasted competitive to handle losses well (even if I have absolutely nothing to do with them, and I mean come on... it's not like I'm a good athlete anyways!)

HOWEVER, I am about to say something that seems strange. With the BCS championship tonight, I have to say that I am pulling for Texas. Rather, I am YANKING for Texas. For the first time in my life, I am saying "hook 'em horns" wearing orange for them (not Gator orange though we all know that's why I own it) and cheering for #12 instead of #15 at QB.

While I am a Colt McCoy fan, think he's a stand up guy, obviously share his faith, respect his athletic talent, etc. I am a STRONG member of Team Tebow. That alliance is what is causing my temporary love and support of Colt. It mandates that I go against that absurd Crimson Tide (I mean honestly what is that anyways? A bloody sea?) & that dreadful, unsportsmanlike Mark Ingram. Not only did he not deserve the Heisman (he's a RB, and if you looked an Suh & McCoy, in my "expert" opinion he wasn't even a competitor, but whatever...).

So today, Thursday, I am a Texas Longhorn. I am temporarily trading the chomp for the horns. As unnatural as it is, I sure hope Colt & his crew can pull it off. If for no other reason (other than of course I think he & his team deserve it) to shut up Ingram and his posse. Enough.

Al Gore's Great Idea is Ruining my Life...

Al Gore: the epitome of stupid (exhibit A to the right). The poster child for how ignorant Americans can be. Not only did they make him famous, but they elected him to public office where he could spew his stupidity on the American public in a decision making role.

If that doesn't make you nauseas, I don't know what will.

All that being said, he came up with the internet... or at least that's what he says. Well without the internet, people couldn't stalk, cause drama, and frankly, my ramblings would be reserved to my eyes only. I could spare anyone having to hear what I really thought about things. People would know how to communicate face to face instead of requiring a computer to converse. It'd be UNREAL what life would be like today compared to what it is currently (can we say welcome back to 1986? ...great year, I might add...)

I am not trying to imply that the internet was a bad idea (obviously that statement alone proves the fact that Gore didn't come up with it) but what I AM saying is that there are pros as well as cons.

His other "idea"... this whole global warming concept, however has zero pros. In fact it is oozing with cons. The obvious one being the fact that, oh yeah... IT IS NOT HAPPENING. Ha... ironic, isn't it?

This whole global warming is piling up on top of my car, getting in my shoes, making the roads quite messy AND is holding the temperature in the 20's. It's preventing my out of town meetings that were scheduled for today, causing harm to people and their vehicles and is a down right hassle.

This weather always brings my "why don't I live in FL" question back to the surface. The funny thing is in this case, though, is that while they aren't getting pounded with snow, it's really not that much better there. In fact, those people probably feel like the sky is falling on them.

There are only 2 good things that snow is good for: skiing in Colorado (which is not applicable today since I'm in Indianapolis, not Aspen) and disproving Al Gore's absurd theories. Otherwise, if I went the rest of my life without seeing it, I'd count myself fortunate.

Me? On a soapbox? NO WAY.

As a Christian since the age of 4, I would love to be able to say that I have a faith that can move mountains & that it has always been of such strength. Unfortunately, however, that wouldn't be true. It has only been as of late that I have begun to make my faith my own and truly seek after His will and not my own (and to be frank, it's still a struggle... I fail daily).

That being said I am still secure in my faith as well as defensive of those who feel the need to attack my gracious & loving Lord. The same Lord who created all... who "was, and is, and is to come".

While my love for Timmy & shared faith are strong as well, I am having a really hard time with what people are saying... (from the eye black blog...)



Almost a year ago, CBSSports.com columnist Gregg Doyel wrote, “Tebow’s religion is seen as good because it is the religion of the majority. But it’s not the religion of everybody. It’s exclusionary, and just because you share Tebow’s faith, that doesn’t mean you're right.”

This past October, Sam Cook of the Fort Myers [Fla.] News-Press, picked up from USA Today’s Tom Krattenmaker and slammed the “far-right theology” of Tebow’s evangelical Christian father.

As recently as mid-December, Mark Axelrod, a blogger at the liberal Huffington Post sneered, “So, am I to believe that Florida beat Oklahoma because Tim Tebow had John 3:16 painted beneath his eyes?” Axelrod certainly knows that nobody is suggesting God takes sides in football games, and at the end of his piece he got to his real objections:

What I find rather disturbing is that he has to bring that religious faith onto the playing field as a way of testifying to it, as a way of letting people know just how deeply religious he is. The irony of making faith a kind of religious highlight reel is that belief in God isn't a spectator sport nor is a football field a venue for religious politicking.

The elite liberals at the Huffington Post and elsewhere in the media are embarrassed that Tebow insists on publicly testifying to his faith and using his high profile to exercise his Christian duty to evangelize.




Now if that's not a bunch of really sad, demeaning words from some lost souls, I don't know what else it is... (or how else to say it nicely).

As I learn to grow in my own faith, I appreciate & long for role models like Timmy who are vocal about their faith and aren't ashamed of the Gospel.

"Why"

My daddy always jokes that he's going to simply put the word "why" on my momma's tombstone, because bar none, it's her favorite in the English language. I guess I can't blame her... she's off the charts intelligent, so it only makes sense that her curiosity would constantly be sparked.

The characters of this story --->

I have to laugh, however, because sometimes when I think of the word "why", I picture the little kid who just asks it over and over to be annoying. Don't get me wrong... I don't find little kids annoying, but I am totally convinced that they know what they're doing when they keep pestering because no answer is ever good enough for them.

Those two concepts bring me to my most recent conundrum if you will... WHY. Why this and not that? Why is that happening? Why is this not happening? Why don't I know? Why won't this happen? Why did I do that? Why did they do that? And ultimately, as I start to drown in my sea of "why", I arrive at a whole new issue: "WHAT NOW?!"

And that, the "what now" is where I am currently stationed. I have asked about every why question I can come up with (though I am sure more are on their way) and to be frank, haven't been able to come up with many of the answers. So now, I must go on, with out the answers to those questions and try to answer the new set of "what nows".

I'm sure once I grow tired of not knowing the answer to the "what now" just like I did of the "why" I will probably stumble across something like "how" or "when" or maybe a just plain "uh oh".

Either way, that's just make my day fantastic... NOT.

The stupid Staples' "that was easy" button.

<--Back when things were easy. Exhibit A of what happens when things change and how "easy" does not exist.


We've all seen the annoying commercials, or worse... people in our office have one. Those blasted red buttons that when pushed say "that was easy". I'd like to drop kick their inventor.

I am stressed. Super stressed. There is no such thing as "easy". Period. In fact, I could use one of those buttons right now and switch 'easy' to 'stinking hard'! Come on... isn't that a little more accurate?

The Lord never promised that it'd be easy.... and that's because He knew it wouldn't be. While I'm aware He'll never give me more than what I can handle, I am also aware I may be quickly approaching that threshold. (Just for the record...)

In the interim, I will keep my eyes and ears on alert for a situation that comes along when that button is applicable. Otherwise, I think we should collect all of them and throw them into the sea with 100 lb. dumbbells attached so that they may never resurface.

15 seconds of fame... Kind of...

It's hardly fame, but because there are actually readers to the Tebow's Eye Black blog, I would just like to state that my thoughts on his draft were published there. Mine of course were the long ones (the 1st part of that post). At least someone appreciates what I have to say...

Global Warming My Tail!

<--Global warming at it's finest (50's & rainy on the lake July 4th... I mean come on, really?!)

Because this is my blog, that gives me the right to write whatever I feel so led to write. And if you don't like it, then don't read it. (I'm obviously talking to my zero readers, which makes me feel that much better about spouting off!)

OK... let's be legit. Global warming is NOTHING more than a political game. There is no such thing. Never has been, never will be. The earth is a living thing that goes through cycles, but I will go ahead and say (with nothing more than a bachelor's degree in marketing, with certainly no training in any type of science) that it is pretty impossible. Try telling that to the people in Jacksonville, FL who woke up to 26 degrees this morning. OR to the east coast who just got HAMMERED with a blizzard 2 weeks ago. OR to me. Who is dealing w/ single digit temperatures, sub-zero windchills and from what I hear, negative actual temperatures are on their way. The weather people call it "polar". The news report this morning said "warmer" on Wednesday when the high is 26. When 26 degrees becomes warm, is when global warming is disproved once and for all. If 26 is warm, we are all in a BUNCH of trouble.

Everyone else is doing it...

Due to several of the blogs I read, the "hot topic" seems to be where Timmy is going in the NFL.

Well thank goodness we have at least established he is going. Enough of the "is he capable?" discussions. If he is capable to do what he's done thus far, I can't imagine (though I may not have the right to say since I haven't ever played football myself), that the requirements are that MUCH greater than what he has already proven.

I mean, that's logic, right??

Well, personally, I hope he goes to Jax. It's where he belongs. It's his home. His family is there. They need "butts in the seats" and the marketing empire he will be bringing with him will do just that. Furthermore, the Jags offense needs to be rebuilt. What better way than to rebuild it around a stand out athlete who isn't "typical NFL QB material"?

Again... logic.

Finally, if he chooses to go to New England, I will have a MAJOR moral dilemma on my hands. As much as I admire him, my conscience will not allow me to support them. (Interestingly enough, this has nothing to do with the fact that I am a Colt's fan... everything to do with the fact that I am an integrity fan...)

And this is where it begins...

I can't believe I caved! Blogging, really?

I have always been one to read them... not to write one myself.

However, it's 2010... it's a new year. Time for new endeavors, new experiences, and to stop suppressing my desire to write.

Now, let's figure out what it is I should write about...