Continuation of my last post...

Christianity isn't about preaching "I'm right, and you're wrong", it's about demonstrating Christ's love to others in His name.

After reading Jen Engel's article about Tim Tebow, this morning, she said something that I couldn't agree with more... to the point of wanting to stand up in my room and cheer: "The level of discourse about religion in this country is frankly embarrassing; a bastard child of political discourse."

It's nauseating to me that people would mock "Tebowing", not because it's not nice to make fun of others, but because it IS mocking God. It's mocking the mere idea of appreciation, that regardless of your religious faith, is something that should be a part of EVERYONE's lives.

I am so guilty of not only placing Christ far down on my priority list, not only of sinning daily, but of not expressing the appreciation to Him for all He has done for me (uh, hello death on the cross to save me from condemnation), but of not expressing appreciation in general. I am not in any way trying to be preachy (this is just as much to myself as anyone else, I'm just as guilty if not moreso; so let's clarify that I am not putting myself on a higher level here)... all I am saying is, is that let's leave the faith aspect out of this for a second; just imagine what America would be like if everyone started showing just a little more appreciation.... less entitlement (which is so out of control it's nauseating) and more appreciation. Clearly it wouldn't change everything, but it's a start, right? You don't have to like, love, agree with, or appreciate others' perspectives, but would appreciating them as humans (made in Christ's likeness) and showing some respect be so bad? Regardless of whether they're Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindu, etc.?

Appreciation is something we are called to as Christians, but it's also something we're called to as humans regardless of the faith (or lack there of) that you exercise. What goes in line with that is simple respect. Respect and appreciation... aren't those things we learned in kindergarten (basic manners, keep your hands to yourself, it's not nice to make fun of others)? Seems that way to me...

Cheering for the wrong side?

I find it interesting, that in a society of superheroes and villains, the masses often cheer to see the "good guys" fail. Instead of respecting and supporting the "superheroes", they find satisfaction in every slip up, every disappointment, and every fail. Why is that?

What is so bad about a good person? Does it make one feel badly about themselves... is it the age old "put others down to make self feel better" theory? Why is that people want to hate the few people who stand for something?

Love him or hate him, regardless of opinions and allegiances, Tim Tebow is a good guy. Period. (And no, it's just because I find him attractive, though that is always an added bonus...) But I for the life of me, can not understand why everyone and their mother wants to see him fall. Wants to see him lose games, and then when his offensive line and receivers don't pull through, coupled with this poor performance in just ONE game, the whole world seems to rejoice. They want dirt on him, they want to accuse him of being gay, a man whore, a cheat... whatever it may be, people do NOT want to see him succeed.

And that just breaks my heart... again, not because I'm a fan, but because I find it hard to believe that as a society, we want the good to fall... we seem to have lost faith in the idea that a relationship with Christ, and walking the talk aren't even possible; especially in the lime light.

Following yesterday's poor showing of the Broncos against the Lions... people aren't upset that a team lost, they're upset with a quarterback (for those who can't do the math, that's blaming a lot of ugly on one man). Why rejoice in the loss of a game? The failure of an athlete? Why doubt the character of a man who tries to do the right thing? What exactly is to be gained?

Again, I don't understand the concept of wishing such abhorrent things on a person who is guilty of getting out of bed in the morning and trying to do the right thing in all aspects. I'm not sure at this point that there's anything wrong with the humility of someone who tries to give glory where glory is due, rather it's with a society who is so disconfigured, that everything bad is what is considered the "norm". Despite athletic talent, imagine what the world would be like if a few of us stopped disparaging those who live right, and start taking a lesson from them?

Topics NOT to Blog about...

Given the degree of "heavy" the last post was and my neglect of writing recently, I have compiled a list of things I have come across in various published forms and blogs that in my opinion, though I will not stand in judgement of others or force my views on others, are not blog-able materials...

1. Your period. We all have them. They suck. We all act like bitches, doesn't it make it right, it happens, get over it. I don't need to know about bloating, ovulating, or flow. My interest in your cycle is only if you're my patient. ONLY then.

2. Your financial status. I don't care if you're rich or poor. If that's what you allow yourself to be defined in terms of, your issues are more than what writing can fix. Find a shrink. People don't need to hear about your filing for bankruptcy or your exact salary... because let's be real, do you really think people believe it, just because you wrote it?

3. Uneducated opinions. If you don't take the time to learn, then you can't take the time to have an opinion. Opinions aren't right and wrong... they're either informed or uninformed. Give me a smart person who disagrees with me any day over a person who is clueless and hangs on my every word.

4. Your replacement. If he moved on darling, so should you. Of course you're going to tell the world she looks like Urcela from the Little Mermaid... I'm sure compared to you she does, but it's his decision, his life, and you make yourself look worse by wasting words on it.

5. Reality TV stars. To be on a reality TV show, you only have one requirement: you can't have any talent. You go find your life, and hopefully (for the sake of us all) they will go find theirs.

6. One-night stands/STD's/hook-ups/etc. All that does is open yourself up to make you look like a dumbo. Your decisions especially in regards to your sexuality are your decisions, and some decisions (namely those regarding that aspect of your life) are best kept private between you and your loved ones... not the world wide web. I'm not judging you for any of them, I just don't think advertising the latest outbreak you have because of that guy from whatchyacallit bar is a good reflection on who you are as a beautiful person inside and out.

7. Your weird fetishes. For example, the poor girl who made the eHarmony video and put it on YouTube regarding her love of cats. Bless your heart honey, shedding tears over your obsession with a feline isn't the best way to get a date. I don't know what the best way is, I just know that's not it...

TO BE CONTINUED...

"Church"

"The Church" as in the body of Christ followers, the one that Christ took as his bride, the one full of broken sinners who have acknowledged their evil and repented through the loving grace that came from the Cross. That Church? Oh, it's a good one. A holy one... a loving one.

Unfortunately, due to all of our fallen humanities, "the church" that is on every corner, street, country road you turn on isn't always that way. Somehow, rules, regulations, and being more "Christian" drown out the love we are called to have for one another. Oxymoronic, don't you think?

Exactly what does being "more Christian" look like? Someone says to be more "Christ-like" and I can follow. Tell me to be "more Christian" and I am a bazillion different levels of confused. I'm sorry, what?!

I will take it one step further... churches are led by people. People who are sinners, who have fallen natures, and who are not perfect. Yep, I get it. Here's what I don't get though... somewhere along the lines, some (certainly not all) of these people in these positions forget that they're people... humans. They start feeling a little bit more like God, a little bit less like fleshy masses that talk too much. And then next thing you know, they don't just "sin" and "repent", they begin to live lives of sin... fall into paths of sin and even when they are "caught" or confronted, they use their position to excuse themselves from the responsibility that everyone else seems to have. Bizarre, isn't it?

If a cop speeds, I would still call him if someone broke into my house. If a teacher fails an exam, I would still call him to help me learn. If a plumber clogged his own toilet, I would still call him if my septic tank burst... maybe it's a double standard, but send me a pastor who is condemning me for specks when he has planks? I don't know... I just seem to shut down.

I, in no way, lump all pastors together... nor do I think they shouldn't be allowed to sin. I don't blame God, I don't doubt God and I don't mean to elevate myself and sins above theirs. However, I struggle with the idea of being put on the defensive about "church" in the sense of a Sunday morning event, and a "pastor" in the sense of a person who condemns and hurts others while he is lying, cheating, stealing, etc. We all sin. We all fall short of the glory of the Lord (I know, unfortunately I seem to have a lot of experience with doing so), but when did it become acceptable to hurt fellow brothers and sisters in Christ over a building that people spend a few hours in? When did someone's power trip and ego become so fragile that someone misses a stroke and they are condemned to Hell?

It breaks my heart, to think of those who have been turned off of "church" because of things like this... because they never got to be a part of "Church" and know the Lord's love for what it truly is. I can only pray that though I know I am a sinner who often fails to show that love, that I can become more cognizant of such sadness.

10th Anniversary

Hard to imagine it was 10 years ago today... I remember it like yesterday (cliche, but true)... I was in American Eagle jeans and logo T (it was the store my freshman year of high school) when principal Kelly Brown came across the intercom and informed of us of the plane into World Trade One. I sat in Mr. Mindach's Bible class and we were all sure it was just an accident, but boy were we wrong...

As people reflect on the most horrific day in our great nation's history, it gives me an overwhelming sense of pride to remember how immediately following the tragedies, people united. "God" was no longer taboo, flags were everywhere you turned, and despite disagreements, people were fellow Americans and a new sense of civility that had never been seen before arose.

How heart breaking that in no time, the finger pointing, name calling, and blame gaming returned with a vengeance. How quickly forgotten were the heroes who rushed in as others were rushing out, the service men and women who packed up and left their loved ones to protect the freedoms that were threatened that day.

What happened on that beautiful Tuesday morning was nothing short of pure evil. The deliberate attack on innocent people and the freedoms that we value, though often take for granted, is something that can not be adequately described with words. The anger, pain, anguish, fear, helplessness, and loss set in as the shock wore off. The reality of what truly happened was unimaginable, but was indicated by those who jumped from the buildings; what was happening up there was somehow worse than jumping to their death. It seems unfathomable... yet it was true.

I do not believe in coincidence, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Republican or Democrat, George W. Bush was in office that day because he was a man of the Lord, a man of faith, and a man of prayer.

My heart broke that day for my beloved country (yes I was that obsessed with being an American in high school too), for those who lost their lives, those who lost loved ones, and those directly affected by the attacks. That day, we were all New Yorkers, we were all Pentagon employees, and we all lived in near a field in Pennsylvania.

As we reflect in 2011, I pray we never forget that day, the loss and sacrifices that have been made. Evil shook our buildings, but not our resiliency. Today and every day, I am proud to be an American and thankful to all who have made this nation what it is. Though words don't do justice to express gratitude, September 11, 2011 will be in my heart and on my mind every day as it has been for 10 years, for the rest of my life.

When a heart breaks...

Some people think a heart can be broken only in the romantic sense. I'm not one of those people. Hearts can be broken by anyone whom you deem trustworthy... anyone you allow into your heart and soul who has the power to hurt you.

I don't know that you can truly love without allowing people in, and giving them the opportunity to hurt you as you trust that they won't. Here's the hard truth though... (and trust me the truth is reality and reality sucks): people are humans, so they hurt you. They fail, they mess up, and some people? Some of them just suck.

I've decided that there is a direct relationship between the suck factor and how close that person is to you. If it's a coworker you barely speak to, and they hurt you, that only sucks a little bit... but if it's someone who is in an integral position in your world, they have the potential to suck, a LOT.

To further complicate matters, the suck factor also has a direct relationship with outside circumstances... if they mess up when life is great, that sucks. If they walk away when you need them most, that sucks a HELLUVA lot.

I think Dave Barnes says it best...
Life, for now, I've come to fear
You've dropped me off and left me here
With nothing here to find my way
But the light you take as you pull away
It's a tear in the dark
All alone in the car
In pieces, pieces
It's the sound of mistake
As I'm lying awake and
Sleepless, sleepless
This is the sound that's made
When a heart breaks...

She ain't prejudice, she's just made in America...

I love music; I'm terrible at it, but I love it. It's no secret that I love America, and it makes me sad when my fellow Americans put down our absolutely wonderful nation. So, Toby Keith's latest "Made in America" is one of my favorites... pair that with his "Angry American" song, and I get my fightin' shoes on with anyone who feels the need to bash the U.S. of A.

Maybe it's because I'm not that strong (physically in a health sense or emotionally because I could probably be hired as a professional crier), or maybe it's because I'm insecure and when people yell at me I panic, but nonetheless, I couldn't be in the in armed services. Not because I'm not willing to sacrifice, or because I don't believe in their cause; but because the United States military knows better than to let a perpetually ill, emotional nut job like me into one of their uniforms (ha, I'm comfortable with it, so we will call it being self aware).

Here's the thing though... this economic crisis, clearly sucks (sorry, there's no other word to describe it) and I do find it interesting that the first dip of the double dip occurred on what's his face's 50th birthday, but that's another story. It's sad that statistically speaking it's almost impossible for the Congress rating level to be so low... it's almost like they've worked at it. The finger pointing, name calling, and blame passing is seriously off the charts. But you know what is the saddest? What breaks my heart the most? The response of the American president (it's the title that some of our fellow Americans chose to give him... I don't like him, but I will still respect the position) and many of the American people, regarding the loss of life on Saturday when the helicopter of Navy SEALS went down.

Check out this video around the 8:44 mark... does anyone else feel excruciating pain at the lack of empathy and blatant disregard for the life of human life? I mean, is it truly "just a part of war"? Are these not real human beings that have sacrificed more than most ever will? They "meet their responsibilities together"? Their "legacy" is really the important part here?

This has nothing to do with his skin color, his political stance, or the fact that he doesn't like people like me. I'm not prejudice, I was just made in America... to believe in, stand for, and respect what is right about our nation and to at the very least express my utmost gratitude to those who fight, and my utmost sympathy to those who have lost loved ones while protecting the nation.

I'm sure this post seems as redundant as imaginable as so many things I write about have to do with the same issue... and no, I am not solely blaming that man for the mess that we are all currently dealing with, simply asking that he show respect to the dignity of human life. Not simply because of his position and title, but because he, too, is a human being, and technically, I guess (if Hawai'i is truly a state), he is an American.

It's a privilege, NOT a right...

My daddy used to love the phrase "it's a privilege not a right" when I was growing up... in terms of getting a new car, driving the new car, going places so on and so forth.

So yesterday in class, my favorite professor of all time (I mean honestly, she's up there with my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Ewer... the woman is seriously off the charts smart, so sweet and can teach anyone ANY thing!) made the statement about how thankful she is that here in the United States, despite all of the nonsense going on, we have so much to be thankful for.

We don't have armed soldiers roaming our streets, massive riots of rebel groups trying to over throw our government... people can publicly worship the god of their choosing without fear or arrest or torture... there are still laws that most people follow and that are enforced... so on and so forth.

She continued on with how she doesn't know why she was so fortunate to be born here, but she's so thankful she was. That got me thinking about how I so take for granted the freedoms that have required so much sacrifice to obtain and maintain. She's right... it is an unbelievable how fortunate we are to be native Americans (no pun intended). If you look at all of the people who have risked and some who have ultimately lost their lives in a desperate attempt to make it to the most wonderful country on earth.

We are from and live in a nation that is full of possibility, opportunity, safety (relatively speaking) and the potential to allow a person to be all they want to be if they are willing to put the effort into it. The American dream truly is that... a dream, that through hard work and the gift of being here, is absolutely obtainable.

"There is nothing wrong with American that can't be fixed by all that is right with America..."

God speaks...

The most unbelievable thing happened to me today. Clearly, this is my first post of the month, given that school has begun... and let's not talk about how that is going.

I came home today off the charts discouraged... I feel as that since this has gotten started, I have been teetering on the brink of a breakdown, but I have realized I don't have the time to breakdown. Thus, I'm holding it together by a thread...

Then something happened today to remind me that KARA isn't the one holding it together by a thread... rather, KARA is the reason there's only a thread left. It's because of my Savior that I haven't fell apart, and it's because of Him that I'm not laying in the fetal position in the corner of my room. As my health insists on deteriorating, it continues to take what little cognitive reasoning and energy I have left. I'm certainly not pulling the victim card, we all have our issues to deal with, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't discouraged.

Gramma Ruthie sent me the devotional "Streams in the Dessert" several months ago. I would love to say I read it daily, but I don't... however, I did read it today. Not in the morning like I usually do, but this afternoon after I got home. The devotion for July 19 is as follows...

"Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?" -John !8:11
To "drink the cup" was a greater thing than calming the sea or raising the dead. The prophets and apostles could do amazing miracles, but they did not always do the will of God and thereby suffered as a result. Doing God's will and thus experiencing suffering is still the highest form of faith, and the most glorious Christian achievement.
Having your brightest aspirations as a young person forever crushed; bearing burdens daily that are always difficult, and never seeing relief; finding yourself worn down by poverty while simply desiring to do good for others and provide a comfortable living for those you love; being shackled by an incurable physical disability; being completely alone, separated from all those you love, to face the trauma of life alone; yet in all these, still being able to say through such a difficult school of discipline, "Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?" - this is faith at its highest, and spiritual success at its crowning point. Great faith is exhibited not so much in doing as in suffering.
In order to have a sympathetic God, we must have a suffering Savior, for true sympathy comes from understanding another person's hurt by suffering the same affliction. Therefore we cannot help others who suffer without paying a price ourselves, because afflictions are the cost we pay for our ability to sympathize. Those who wish to help others must first suffer. If we wish to rescue others, we must be willing to face the cross; experiencing the greatest happiness in life through ministering to others is impossible without drinking the cup Jesus drank and without submitting to the baptism He endured.
If you have surrendered yourself to Christ, your present circumstances that seem to be pressing so hard against you are the perfect tool in the Father's hand to chisel you into shape for eternity. So trust Him and never push away the instrument He is using or you will miss the result of His work in your life.
The school of suffering graduates exceptional scholars.

Do as I say, not as I do...

I was going to name this post "look at the pot calling the kettle black", but it occurred to me that could come across as racist given the reference, and though I didn't mean it as such, I figured this way may be better.

All that said, I have had just about ENOUGH of this professional vacationer. The guy has really pushed my limit too far. No patience for the lack of leadership, arrogance, incompetence, so on and so forth. Hearing his voice makes me want to bang my head against a wall. Seeing his face makes me want to lose the last meal I ate. I mean honestly, find me someone worse... even Charlie Sheen isn't that bad (frankly, because he's at least self aware he sucks... this other idiot actually thinks he has a clue)!

Where is this rant coming from? Well I guess I could say it's been a long time coming... or maybe it's because I'm stressed... maybe it's because I'm sick of someone trashing my country. Let's call it patriotism. And said patriotism is excited for our great nation's birthday that's coming up. What better way to honor those who have fought for our freedom and worked so hard to make our country what it is, than to rest and observe the day? Well, apparently he doesn't think it's necessary. So now, he's calling Congress to cancel their vacations to celebrate Independence Day to get something done (raise taxes, is what he wants "done"). He wants to see them there because as he said "he's been there". BULL. Are you kidding me?!

We are six months into 2011 and he has already gone golfing 77 times. Yes that's right, SEVENTY-SEVEN times. Count them. That's just shy of 13 times a month. So while he's not doing anything, he is comparing his daughters (who are apparently angel children who are smarter than these educated individuals) work ethic to the lack of drive that apparently Congress has. I mean what? That explanation doesn't even make sense. Not because I didn't word it properly, but because the whole concept LITERALLY does not make sense. Zero.

So he golfs. Somehow using a metal stick to hit a little white ball qualifies as "leadership" in his eyes. I mean honestly, am I the only one who sees a problem here? The jobless claims were released today... 428,000 to be exact. Officials were expecting 420,000. We are withdrawing from Afghanistan. Our economy isn't recovering. Yet lo and behold, the putting green is more important. More so than our nation's birthday, the quality of life of the American public, and the overall well being and stability both within our borders and beyond.

Nauseating, isn't it?

Fear of the Unknown

In t-minus a day and a half, I will be embarking on the next step of what seems to be a long, drawn out, complex, confusing journey. People keep asking me if I am excited, and I have to be real honest... even though I often respond with a convenient answer so as to not solicit further questions, I am scared outside of my mind. Some may call it scared @*!+ less. Honestly, I'd say that's probably pretty accurate.

I don't mean to be Debbie Downer, but having faith, trusting, not over-thinking, etc. aren't exactly my strengths. I worry, doubt, and over analyze with the best of them. I'm not excited. Not at all. I am in an absolute panic, but like it or not, this is the path I felt I was being led down and it's too late to turn back now!

Regardless of the fact that I have grown up in every form of Christianity from my home/family, to church, Sunday School, youth group, Christian school/university, chapel, etc. I'm not good at "letting go and letting God". I have yet to figure it out. So here I am, for the first time in my life, taking a leap (not a step but a full out leap) of faith down a path that literally makes me throw up and pass out. Though I am excited about the concept of helping others, I'm not looking forward to school (I'm no good at it, it's fact. Throw in the lack of short term memory and then you've really got a mess!) and I am petrified of the subject material. Oh boy, are we having fun now or what?!

Call it what you will... "fear of the unknown" is probably most applicable and will avoid the most interrogations, so at this point I guess we will stick with that. Talk to me in a year and a half... I will let you know. In the meantime, I will keep breathing. Or at least I will try...

Funny the way it is...

"Would You Rather" is one of my favorite games to play. Forget Truth or Dare, bring on the weird concoctions and conundrums of preferences. So I was asked the other day, a would I rather question that I haven't been able to get off my mind...

Would I rather be with the one I loved (who didn't love me back), or the one I didn't love (who worshiped the ground I walked on)?

Well, hmph. How do I answer that? Why be with someone you don't want to be with? Yet, at the same time, how painful would it be to be with someone who you know doesn't love you back? I finally opted for choice C: neither, I will just be alone for the rest of my life. I mean honestly... then I don't have to pretend or fake it nor do I have to stomach the pain of rejection. Loneliness has got to be better than both of those options, I'd think.

That's the thing though... the one thing I want, for whatever reason, is the one thing that alludes me every time (not just in relationships as mentioned above, but in life in general). Clearly, it mustn't be the Lord's Will, given that I have to trust He knows best, but nonetheless, it's brutal! In one current circumstance, I have half a dozen options to choose from to help the issue... and the one that I want more than anything, the solution to the problem, is literally the one that isn't even an option at all. I have no interest in the options that are in fact available... none, because it's not what I want! I want it to be the way I want it to be and I want it to be that way now!

So now what? Do I continue to wait? Do I give up hope and throw the white flag? Do I just deal with the fact that it's not what I want and try to put up with one of the options? I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, so when there are indications of something but nothing comes to fruition, I find myself feeling very disheartened. So I remain in limbo, just hanging in the rafters as I try to wait patiently for the answer that I want to come. All the while, pained that the one door I want to go running through seems to be the only one that's closed. And locked. And deadbolted. Funny thing is, who's to say that answer will ever come? Given that I'm not in charge, I may well wait the rest of my life for something that just isn't going to be the way I want it to be.

The thing about my situation is that the general feelings can be applied to many other different circumstances including but not limited to, relationships, careers, future endeavors, etc. In my personal experience, I'm realizing that the only one thing I really want at this exact moment is just not an option. It's out of my control and the only One who can change the circumstances is the Lord. I know He knows best, and I will just have to deal with the fact that I can't wave my magic wand (basically, because I don't have one). And just trust that He has a plan in all of this... I would love to say I'm waiting faithfully, patiently, and with joy, but that wouldn't be the truth. I am waiting with a bad attitude and frustration... praying that before the Lord answers my prayer, He first cleans up my heart.

A Mother's Love

Clearly (and thankfully) I have no idea what it's like to be a mother or love in the way mother's love their children. I have been so blessed to not only have a wonderful mother, but a wonderful best friend who happens to be my momma. Never once have I ever doubted her love for me (though I know I drive her crazy, so I'm sure there are times she may not like me too well :)). But nonetheless, come hell or high water, my mom is there for me; no matter what.

When I was a little girl, she used to read me this book, and she still quotes from it today...
"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as you're living, my baby you'll be."
If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

I preface this post with that because that is my point of reference. This Caylee/Casey/Cindy Anthony story is sickening... to say the least. But the latest twist is what sparks my thoughts... Cindy Anthony is now claiming to have researched chloroform... she is now willing to engage in purgery to save her daughter from the death penalty. She loves her daughter so much, that she's willing to sacrifice everything... just for the sake of keeping her alive.

What's even more ironic to me, is that this mother is willing to make such a sacrifice all over the case of her daughter brutally murdering her own child. There isn't a doubt in my (nor apparently many others' either) mind that Casey is as guilty as O.J. is (and on a side note, I hope that justice is served this time as it wasn't in the O.J. case).

How a mother could harm let alone kill her child is beyond me; and I'm not even a mother myself. Now this cold-blooded killer's mother is willing to sacrifice everything just to save the one thing the other so flippantly disposed of. Does anyone find this as bizarre that I do? What Mrs. Anthony is doing (though unethical in terms of honesty and the oath that she took) is what I understand a mother's love to be... selfless, sacrificial, and unwavering. What exactly would one call the lack of love and regard for human life that Casey has/had? That, I can not wrap my mind around.

The Pull Out Method

Inappropriate title? Probably. Appropriate synopsis of the professional vacationer who happens to live in the White House? Absolutely.

I chose to not watch what's-his-face's speech last night on Afghanistan for several reasons. First of all, it'd been a hard day emotionally and I wasn't in the mood to think. Second of all, I spent some time visiting with a U.S. Marine yesterday and my worst fears were confirmed regarding the speech's topic. Finally, the sound of that man's voice seriously makes me want to bang my head against a wall (which, by the way, I have found solves no problems... it simply leaves you with a whopper of a head ache).

Back to the title... case in point: the Commander in Chief of our great nation has decided that despite the expert opinions (hello General Petreus, I think you're wonderful), those with inside knowledge and intelligence, and frankly anyone with a functioning brain (which can be argued that mine isn't 100%, but clearly it functions better than some, ahem) the United States military needs to pull out of Afghanistan.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that the moment this happens, Al-Quaeda will take over. This is the day they've been waiting for! While it's wonderful that Bin Laden and Hussein (referring to Sadam, because clearly Barack HUSSEIN Obama is still with us) have been taken it out, the problem is not solved. So unfortunately, when we leave, all of the lives lost, sacrifices made, time and money spent, will all be for nothing. The last nine years will have been in vain. If that's not fan-frickin'-tastic, I don't know what is?!?

Oh wait, yes I do. I understand that that man said "I" over a dozen times in his speech last night. Oh that's right... there is an election coming up in 2012. So let's think about this. Is this pull out about what's right for America, Afghanistan and international stability or what's right for Goofy's re-election? You tell me. Maybe it's time to stop campaigning, vacationing, and golfing. Call me crazy, but maybe it's time to consider the fact that the decisions made effect more than just your address for the next 4 years, Mr. President. It effects the lives of billions of people... both inside and outside of our borders.

Clearly the pull-out method didn't work for his parents, because he is here. I don't know what makes him think it will work this time...

Death as I See It

To play on the title of my blog, I am acknowledging an experience that I guess I underestimated.

As of 1:30 this morning, my mom's dear friend Sheron, who was basically family, went home to be with Jesus. She was diagnosed with bile duct cancer just over 2 years ago, and at that time was given just a few months. Following a tumultuous period of surgeries, treatments, improvements and relapses, the Lord took her to be with Him... for which I can't blame Him, given that she's so wonderful, but it certainly doesn't remove the pain from those here on earth who love her so dearly.

My mom has lost several close friends to cancer, and I'm no stranger to funerals/losing loved ones/illnesses/etc., but this is the first time I have literally watched someone die. The jaundice skin, the labored breathing (134/min.), the almost nonexistent blood pressure (60/42), the distended belly, so on and so forth. She was in so much pain, so I don't mean to selfishly imply it's not a blessing for her to be restored again.

Sheron was a rock for so many and last night as I was sitting on one side of her bed, my mom on the other, my mom looked at me and said, "I don't care if you're a believer or not. Death is ugly." And honestly, she's right. It's the act of dying that is so atrocious. Though she is in a better place, the path she had to take to get there was awful. I know that dying is a part of life (which when put into words seems rather oxymoronic) but nonetheless, it's heartbreaking.

This may be my least insightful post, ever, but knowing and understanding something is nothing compared to witnessing it... or at least not for me. I know this is something I will get used to seeing often, but I pray that regardless of how much it effects me, that it always effects me that deeply. I pray that I never become accustomed to or used to the act of dying that it no longer impacts my well-being.

Every day truly is a gift.

I'm calling your bluff.

So, as many may know, NBC omitted "under God" and "indivisible" from their version of the Pledge of Allegiance during the U.S. Open this past weekend. It's no secret that there is a sect of Americans who live their lives for the sole purpose of cutting God out of every aspect of life, but the move made by the broadcasting giant takes things to a whole new level.

What's even worse? NBC issued an apology today saying that it was accidental and not mean to "offend anyone". Now, if I am expected to believe that this portion just happened to be the one forgotten, and that it wasn't on purpose, am I really assumed to be that much of a schmuck? Could it be any more obvious?

Are we, the American people, the American nation, not under God? Are we really not indivisible? Can we be divided? Have we not sustained blow, after blow from our various enemies? If we aren't under God, who are we under? Allah? Buddah? The Easter Bunny? Does NBC truly take it's viewing public as brainless robots that will automatically believe some bogus apology?

I am not claiming that NBC needs to be a "Christian" organization, frankly, they don't even have to acknowledge the Maker of the Universe if they don't want... this is a country of religious freedom. However, the blatant disrespect of the American spirit by editting the Pledge of Allegiance to make it how they would like it to be, is totally unacceptable. Like it or not, "under God" and "indivisible" are 3 of the 31 words in the Pledge, and it isn't up to NBC, or anyone else for that matter, to omit and change.

The lack of patriotism is offensive, the flippant apology is worse. I will pull the "bull" card on that statement time and time and time again. This isn't about being offended due to religious views, this is about being offended as an American. It's time that people stop assuming the American public as a whole are a bunch of incompetent nimwits who can be manipulated, brainwashed, and controlled... regardless of their religious and political viewpoints.

Because that's what friends do!

What is a friend?

Someone who laughs when you laugh.
Someone who cries when you cry.
Someone who makes you laugh so hard, you cry.
Someone who keeps your secrets.
Someone who knows your past.
Someone who knows your past and doesn't judge you for it.
Someone who has your best interest at heart.
Someone who tells you the truth, even if they know it will hurt.
Someone who will love you through that painful truth.
Someone who holds your hand while touching your heart.
Someone who stands up for you.
Someone who sticks with you through thick & thin (and in some cases, sickness & health).
Someone who puts up with your mood swings, freak outs, and outbursts.
Someone who knows your annoying habits and puts up with them anyways.
Someone who loves you despite all the good, all the bad, and all the ugly.

So beyond thankful for the wonderful friends the Lord has blessed me with. People who love me inspite of myself. Couldn't ask for better friends... I love y'all dearly.

The Heart of the Matter

The old adage, "you're darned if you do, darned if you don't", is one of the most true statements to ever be made. When it comes to people, relationships (both platonic and romantic), and communication, one is truly toast either way. God made us to be relational beings, so without that contact loneliness permeates the soul and leaves that person feeling empty. We weren't meant to go at it alone, rather to "bear one another's burdens in love".

On the same note; people are still humans. They're manipulative, selfish, untrustworthy and regardless of anything, will always let you down. Whether the initial intentions are malicious or the execution is simply misconstrued, people hurt people. Deeply. Which leaves people in the quandary of darned either way.

Being a thin-skinned people pleaser, I have spent my life worrying about what other people think, do, and say. I allow myself to be walked on, and spinelessly used just in the namesake of avoiding drama and conflict. I fully acknowledge the fact that I have no one but myself to blame for those responses, but nonetheless, the pain comes and with it brings broken hearts, tears, and anger.

I'm slowly learning that despite circumstances, I am going to let people down. People are going to let me down. But I have missed out on so much by trying to save face and keep peace, I have vowed that the next quarter century will be different.

Not that I believe for two seconds what people think doesn't matter, but allowing others to have control over my emotions and well being only hurts me and really doesn't effect them one way or another. Ultimately, I can't control my physical health (as we all have seen seems to have a mind of its own), so why not take control back from others and give it to myself. Why not learn to have thick skin and let things ride? The heart of the matter is deeper than people's words and actions, it's learning to stand up for yourself and follow where you feel you are being led.

Red and Yellow, Black and White...

I need to give the following disclaimer as a preface to this post, as this is simply out of my own curiosity. It is in no way meant to be derogatory to any other human, race or ethnicity. I firmly believe that the Lord created all people in His image despite skin color, socioeconomic status, nationality, etc. This is not intended to belittle, attack or hurt anyone in anyway. I am simply curious. This may seem as extremely politically incorrect, but it is not meant to be so (though I don't care much about political correctness, just the feelings of others.)

(Now, if I get hauled off to jail, it won't be because my heart wasn't in the right place, but because my legal knowledge of disclaimers is so limited. But, hey... I tried!)

Ok, so, I have a question. Has anyone ever noticed that basically EVERY race has things that the Caucasian (or "white", if you will) does not? That the whole celebration of diversity can at times seem as though it's great to be anything BUT white? For instance (and not to single out African Americans, this is just an example... clearly I am petrified of being prosecuted over this blog post, despite living in a country that supposedly has "free speech". I just want to make certain that this is nothing more than an innocent observation.) that there is a Black Entertainment Channel... a Black Expo... Black History month? I heard on the news the other day of that May was Pacific Asian Awareness Month. I didn't know there was such a thing.

It's not that I am trying to imply that there is anything wrong with such things; there certainly isn't. Furthermore, I think it's important for people to be proud of their nationality and where they came from, because it's such an integral part of who they are as individuals. To take it one step further, I think the Lord wants us to "celebrate diversity" in the sense that He made us all equal and He wants us to live in Harmony with one another. I don't think he wants our differences to further divide us, rather to make us unique and appreciate one another more deeply. But, that's just my thought...

The point I am trying to make in this though, is that if I were to ever suggest a Caucasian History month, have a White Expo, or a White Entertainment Channel, I would be hauled off to the funny farm and have a mile high stack of lawsuits against me from the ACLU and every other anti-white person in the country. If such things for other races exist and aren't considered "supremacist" in nature, then why the double standard? What is so wrong with being white? Am I allowed to be proud of my heritage and nationality too without being presumed to have ties to extremists? Is it acceptable that I like my white skin that tans in the summer? I like my blue eyes?

Clearly, I don't mean to imply what dictators in the past have regarding blue eyes and blonde hair, but why is it that being white is such a negative? Not only that, but what's worse than being white today in America? Being a white male. Worse still? Being an educated white male? Worse even still? Being an affluent, educated white male. Even worse? Being an affluent, educated white male who believes in Jesus Christ. Those people can't get scholarships. Or jobs. Or recognition. Because somehow, being all of those things is so bad, the diversity cabinet has dubbed them as "not diverse". They don't "qualify" for whatever they are supposed to qualify for. Though I'm not a white male, I don't grasp why being so is such a horrible thing. Sure there are some awful white people. But aren't there awful people in every race? Furthermore, there are some wonderful white people... there are wonderful people of EVERY skin color, race, and ethnicity.

I know there was a time in our great nation that certain groups of people were oppressed and not treated fairly, and that truly does break my heart. But today, in such a "liberated" time, I don't understand why it's such a disadvantage to be of Caucasian descent. As a female (which apparently is my only diverse quality given that I'm educated, white and a Christian) who comes from Italians and Germans, I like my skin color. Funny thing is, is that I like other skin colors too, but I'm never going to be another color so I have chosen to embrace what I am. Is that really such a bad thing?

The Face of Evil

This post is slightly delayed, given that I had finals this week... but, better late than never.

Given the news late Sunday night the U.S. Navy Seals located and successfully took out Osama Bin Laden, a post was obviously warranted. Specifically the few days after that news, and still some close to a week later, my Facebook, Twitter, and other news medias were over-using many Martin Luther King Jr. quotes, song lyrics, (and I say this with great caution because the Lord's Word can never be over used, simply misused) but a lot of certain scripture passages.

Now, I am aware of the fact that life is sacred in the Lord's eyes, and that He views all of us (as sinners) the same. I am also aware of the Ten Commandments (one of which is "thou shall not kill"), so on and so forth. HOWEVER, lest we forget what happened on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. A day "that will live in infamy". I am not implying an "eye for an eye" philosophy here, simply reminding of the fact that Americans were brutally murdered for this psycho nut job head case's extremist beliefs.

That being said, there is a problem. Public relations and media call it the "war on terror". Call it what you will, but when good ol' William Jefferson Clinton was in office, he didn't feel the need to take Bin Laden out (my thoughts on that nut job later) so the freak show was still allowed to roam free and thus planned a massive attack on our freedom and the "western world".

Death is an ugly thing... regardless of how you look at it. But as an American (who happens to be a strong Christian) I will in NO WAY defend Bin Laden's life and existence. There is a problem, and in his specific instance, the only way to fix the problem was to make it so he could no longer continue his evil. Like it or not, Bin Laden wasn't a human; he was an evil, demon possessed being who should not be able continue to carry out his schemes and continue to murder innocent people. Not only will I not agree with those who defend his life, I will go so far as to PRAISE those (including Barack and Hillary, as much as it pains me) in leadership and even more so, those Navy Seals who literally risked their lives, AND all of our military who sacrifice on a daily basis to protect us in a job well done. What a BLESSING it is to live in a country who wants to protect its people and who will sacrifice to do so.

A simple "thank you" to all those who serve in no way communicates my gratitude and appreciation for all they do, but it is a start. America is truly the greatest nation in the world and I am SO blessed to be a part of it. Bin Laden was more than an enemy, and like it or not, the only way to beat said enemy was through death. As he cowardly threw one of his many wives in front of him, he went out in the fashion that was only suitable for the scum that he truly was.

The War on Terror is not near over, but thank you to those who serve and sacrifice to bring us that much closer to a victory.

Sometimes

No, I am not going to quote more Britney lyrics (though I will say I liked her earlier stuff more than her more recent releases, but whatev...) But I was thinking today. Sometimes you just need to do/have certain things in life... regardless of age, status, circumstance. And that's ok...

Sometimes, you just need to cry.
Sometimes, you just need a hug from your momma.
Sometimes, you just need to crawl in your daddy's lap.
Sometimes, you just need to hit something.
Sometimes, you just need a glass of wine.
Sometimes, you just need to sit in silence.
Sometimes, you just need to complain to your best friend.
Sometimes, you just need to be alone.
Sometimes, you just need to know you're loved.
Sometimes, you just need to hear you're beautiful.
Sometimes, you just need to read Dr. Seuss.
Sometimes, you just need to tell God you're scared, angry, hurt, etc.
Sometimes, you just need to be honest, even if the truth hurts.
Sometimes, you just need to go buy something.
Sometimes, you just need to use colorful language.
Sometimes, you just need to skip the gym.
Sometimes, you just need to gorge yourself on chocolate.
Sometimes, you just need to stay at home all day.
Sometimes, you just need to ignore your to-do list.
Sometimes, you just need to be mad for awhile.
Sometimes, you just need to sing obnoxiously loud.
Sometimes, you just need to go for a drive.
Sometimes, you just need to get some fresh air.
Sometimes, you just need to stay in bed.

Life is hard. People, words, and actions hurt. Badly. Sometimes, facing the next moment seems unbearable. Sometimes the fear, agony, worry, and stress can be paralyzing. But you should ALWAYS...
tell those you love, that you love them.
remember who matters and not care about the rest.
forgive those who hurt you, even if it takes awhile.
live each day as if you aren't going to see tomorrow.

And despite life's challenges, remember to NEVER...
stop believing in yourself.
stop loving others.
stop trusting in the One who gives you strength.
take yourself too seriously.

Sometimes we have to smile even when it hurts. Sometimes we have to let our guard down and allow ourselves to be hurt. Sometimes, things don't work out the way we'd wish. But despite that, our hope is from above and the promise I am going to choose to cling to is simply that He won't give me more than I can handle.

My thin skin hasn't thickened at all over the past 24 years. Little things, what people think, gossip, etc. still effect me in ways that you'd think my whole world was crashing down. But maybe someday, I will learn that it doesn't matter. For now, it's just going to have to be ok. Now is one of those "sometimes"...

In the Blink of an Eye

Five years ago today, a semi-driver going north on I-69 fell asleep at the wheel. Five years ago today, that semi crossed the median and hit a Taylor University van directly behind the driver's door, ripping off the side of the van and ejecting it's passengers. Five years ago today, five people lost their lives, three were injured. Five years ago today, MANY lives changed, many world's fell apart, and the world lost some of it's most wonderful beings.

I can't believe it's been five years. I still remember everything about that beautiful, warm and sunny Wednesday as if it were yesterday. I still remember everything about that clear, starry, tragic evening as if it were last night. My heart breaks still for each of those families who now have an empty chair at their meals, and a void in their hearts, despite knowing that each of those souls are now with their Savior.

Five years ago today, I thought I'd lost a close friend. I remember asking, and wondering, and aching over why she and the others were the ones taken, when they were such wonderful and strong people. In the blink of an eye, so many people's worlds were turned upside down. But in five years, the Lord has used this tragedy to impact more lives than anyone thought possible. Through Him, and the way that the families have glorified His name, people within and outside of the Taylor community have been forever changed.

That day changed my life... and certainly the events to follow. But today, I remember and honor those who were taken from us so tragically. We, as humans look at it as they were taken from us too soon; while the Lord fulfilled His plans for their lives and knew it was time for them to come home. Forever in our hearts, they will remain.

http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001294.cfm

'Til Death Do You Part...

"I, _____, take you, _____, to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife. To have and to hold, from this day forth. For better, for worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health; forsaking all others. To love and to cherish 'til death do us part."

On April 21, 1985, my parents spoke those words (or something similar) to one another. Though I wasn't there to witness it, the 27 years following that moment have proven to me how seriously they took those vows. They were vows to each other, to the Lord, and to the several hundred people in attendance that day.

They made a commitment that day; not based on a fleeting emotion, butterflies in their stomach, wings on their shoes... but a physical/mental/emotional/spiritual commitment to love and remain faithful to one another as long as they both live on this earth. 9,855 days later (and counting) they are honoring that promise.

As a child, I remember thinking it was SO gross that they'd hold hands in the car, or that my dad would kiss my mom good night. And ugh, they'd get all dressed up and go on these dates... EW. Daddy would send her flowers for no reason (gag) and Momma would cuddle up to him on the couch just because. Looking back, I remember being mortified at their "romance". Moms & Dads aren't supposed to do that, I thought. But when I see it now, I can't help but smile and utter a prayer of thanksgiving that not only are they still married, they are still IN love.

My Grammy said to me not long ago, that "after all these years of marriage, divorce is simply not an option. However, I have yet to rule out murder..." and hey, after 59 (almost 60) years of marriage, I think she's entitled to that feeling. But nonetheless, regardless of whether they love or hate each other at any given moment, they've stuck it out. How rare is it today to find parents and grandparents in the same family who are still married to their original partner? Who promised each other that divorce was simply not going to be an option? With 50% of marriages ending in divorce in the U.S., it's sad. What's even more heart-breaking, though, is that the statistic is now "over half" of all "Christian" marriages end in divorce. What a tragedy!

I am so thankful to have had such amazing role models in my life in so many aspects, but the example of marriage, fighting and working it out, sticking with it during tough times, and loving one another despite life's challenges that I have is more valuable than can be expressed in words. Happy 27th anniversary to my Daddy and Momma... here's to 127 more years!


But forever you and I will be the ones
Who found out what forever means
When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do

Beautiful Disaster

Though you don't need to know me well to know that I am not musically gifted, you still don't have to know much to know how I love and relate to music. I'm addicted to it... all different types, depending on my mood/circumstance/emotional state. I find that music is able to communicate what I'm thinking or feeling when I am unable... it's a universal connector among all humans and it's beautiful.

Said beauty is clearly demonstrated in the song "Beautiful Disaster" by Jon McLaughlin. One of my favorite artists, the song has been around for several years, but there is a line in it that I keep coming back to... "perfect only in her imperfection". I love his piano playing, his real life applications, etc., but that one stanza is what makes that song my favorite. That's me... I don't know if I'm a "beautiful disaster" a "hot mess" or a "____ show" (maybe it depends on the day?) One thing I know for fact, regardless of anything: I am PERFECT. Yep, I said it, PERFECT. Absolutely PERFECT in one aspect: IMPERFECTION.

That reality is somewhat discouraging, somewhat humbling, somewhat frustrating, somewhat obvious... but nonetheless, it's me.

She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She would change everything for happy ever after
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster

April 1

Original title, right? Most people think of it as April Fool's Day... I think of it as the day the Lord spared my life. That may sound overly dramatic or attention seeking... and I don't mean to imply either. But one year ago today, April 1, 2010, was not a good day for this girl. It was the day of my surgery, the day that no one really knew if a) I'd even come out of the operating room alive (let's say the odds they gave me prior to that day weren't necessarily encouraging), b) if I did come through the operation, what would happen, and c) would I ever fully recover?

Well obviously, I came through it alive. I can truly say it was the most painful experience of my life (morphine literally didn't do a thing to help), and the surgeon's fellow was kind of an a** (to say the least, talk to my mom about it), and to say that I had a good night nurse would be a blatant lie. But, nonetheless, I am still here to tell about it and for that I'm thankful.

Since I did come through the operation, no one really knew if it worked, or if the disease was going to come back, or frankly much of anything. "Time will tell" isn't exactly what you want to hear, but hey, they can't see the future, so I at least respect them for acknowledging that they didn't know for sure. But would I survive after the surgery? Would I be able to beat what was ravaging my body? Did they get it all? Will it come back? Ha, who knows?!

I haven't told many people all of the details, and I chose to tell very few people about the operation prior to it. I never want to seem like "that girl" who always has some major life crisis. No one likes her, including me... I have been sick on and off so much in my life (that the doctor's believe was ultimately connected to all of this) that I worry people view me as such. Also, it's amazing how prayer requests so often turn into gossip. People asked after they saw my incision or heard of the surgery why I didn't tell them so they could pray, but honestly... I didn't want people to know. All you had to do was take one look at me and know something wasn't right. The fat girl with splotchy skin, thin hair, puffy eyes and no energy wasn't exactly the look I was going for. I don't mean at all that I was trying to be a self martyr, but when you don't know the answers yourself, how are you supposed to answer other people's questions?

However, here's what we do know now... one year later, I'm still here. I don't feel well, but I feel a million times better than I did last year at this time. I'm still sick, and it caused enough damage that other problems have arisen, but my life isn't in question, simply its quality. And as of last Tuesday, my body is finally responding to the medication. I may have a long way to go, but I'm also a long way gone from the starting block.

I don't know why, because I certainly don't deserve it, but for some reason, the Lord spared my life. For some reason I am still here, and He continues to strengthen and heal me. Someone asked me not long ago if I was mad at God for allowing me to go through this, and I can truly say I'm not. I will be real honest... I'm not a good person, I DESERVE all of this plus SO much more. It's my belief that the Lord has used this to protect me, guide me, and teach me. The ironic part is, is that I have fought (and continue to fight) Him every day. The level of hypocrisy at which I operate is nauseating. I still worry and freak and fret over the most petty things. You'd think I'd have learned what's important and what's not, but apparently I'm too dense.

This last year has brought so much good and bad, but despite my pride, my sins, and my continuing to make mistakes, the Lord has brought me through on His strength alone. I give Him all of the glory and credit, and I am deeply sorry for my attempts at taking His credit, discrediting it, and not acknowledging Him. He has blessed me in countless ways and for all of those people who have supported me and continue to support me in this journey, I can't thank you enough. He has shown me which relationships matter, and who is genuine and the fact that these people have chosen to stand by me even though I'm sure it seems like there's constantly something wrong, means more to me than words can express.

A year ago today, I became cut-throat. A year ago today, the Savior I so often neglect chose to spare me. It is now my responsibility to take this past year's lessons and put them into practice... not on my strength, but His.

American Idol vs. American Freedom

A friend of mine made an excellent point via social networking the other day, that I hadn't thought of before, but got my thought process moving: how many people who vote for American Idol are registered/do vote in the American political elections?

I don't assume that people love politics like I do, nor do I assume that people care as much as I do. Which, is totally fine AS LONG AS the freedoms we get to enjoy as Americans are respected and appreciated. Regardless of which side of the aisle you support, freedom isn't free, and much has been sacrificed so that there may be opposite sides of the aisle.

All of that to say, does it strike anyone else as strange, that the American public gets more excited about voting for people who can sing than they do the people who run our beloved country? That the clothes they wear, the songs they sing, their backgrounds as individuals are more important than issues, laws, and our national security? Because it strikes me as such. Frankly, I find it sad. Granted, I'm not one who has ever enjoyed any of the reality TV shows, and I am certainly not implying that there is anything wrong with them. What I AM implying, however, is that there is a problem with this discrepancy.

Though my opinions of reality stars aren't to be coveted (I have zero respect for any of them, save those on the Home Makeover show, because at least they're doing something worthwhile), my opinions of a lot of politicians aren't really that much better (and yes, there are some Republicans that make me nauseas, just not as bad as Pelosi the Grossy). I do however feel that if you are going to have a platform on which to be heard, that you need to do something meaningful with it. While "meaningful" can be interpreted many ways, isn't it something that should be thought about?

Why is it that voting in an election is such a big deal? So hard? Such a hassle? Such an inconvenience? Why do people take it so for granted? The "uninformed" excuse baffles my mind. Whose fault is that? The "I'm only one person" does the same, given that you then shouldn't vote for anything because you will never be more than one. How has society as a whole managed to put who hits which note better in higher regard than what we pay in taxes or how many immigrants cross the border?

I'm sure this makes me sound like I'm 54 instead of 24, given that I may be the only 20-something girl to feel this way, but it's something that bothers me. I don't know what to do to fix it (I was taught that if you're bothered, you do something about it, don't just wait for someone else to do something), but I am going to give it ample thought. At least I know America is capable of having an opinion and voicing it... now, if only we could get on to the things that really matter...

Bullying

I meant to write about this last week, but alas, it didn't happen. But, better late than never, yes?

It isn't a secret to most how I feel about the man who currently occupies the Oval Office at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. I don't have to like him, but because I am called to respect the position, I will do my best to deal with that, but like the bumper sticker says, "don't blame me, I didn't vote for him!"

Last week, amidst all that is happening in our world, President Obama held a conference on bullying. I will preface all of this by saying, that the recent tragedies of kids taking their own lives under the pressure they face from cruel peers, is heart breaking. Kids are kids, and kids are MEAN. They always have been, but with the introduction of cyber-bullying thanks to social networking has really taken the issue to a higher level.

There are two parts to this post; part one: bullying. Part Two: the conference on bullying. So first of all, from what little I know/understand, bullying has morphed over the last 60 years from being pushed on the playground and stealing someone's lunch money to some conglomerate of verbal abuse and bringing guns to school. Because I wasn't there, I can't say that more modern bullying is worse than what Beaver Cleaver faced, but my feeling is that it might be. Somewhere between shows like the Real Housewives (gag), Mean Girls (shoot me now), and WWF (which I can honestly say I've never watched, but we've all seen the previews), fighting/drama/conflict/bitchiness has become the "it" thing. If you don't bully, you'll be bullied... so pick your poison.

That being said, I can say that I was bullied... but then again, who hasn't? Now, logic says to a kid, "hey don't pick on the big kid who is like 5x your size", but when the big kid is me (the girl who is a foot taller and wider than everyone else in class, but will cry if you look at her the wrong way) logic is defied. As I got older, who's fault was it? Mine. As Eleanor Roosevelt says, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent". As I matured, it was my fault that I allowed myself to internalize people's words and actions.

I can honestly say that I have never been hit (praise the Lord) except of course the one time the lady ran into me with her car (different story for a different day). At age 24, there are several reasons: first, I'm an only child. I have no siblings to hit me. Second, I was blessed with the most loving parents imaginable (for which I don't take for granted, domestic abuse makes me want to throw up). Finally, I didn't need to be hit... I let people's words do the hitting for them, so they never needed to exert the effort. But let's be real, we all know what it's like to be hurt by others words and actions; that pain is the result of people bullying. Sometimes they mean it, sometimes they don't, but I'd be hard pressed to find anyone over the age of two who comes from a wonderful, full of love home, that hasn't been bullied to some degree.

All of that to say, when a kid's lunch money got stolen on the playground in 1955, that hurt. I'm sure it did; everyone wants to be accepted, and besides, everyone gets hungry at lunchtime! However, in 1955, when the bell rang, kids went home and were completely removed from the situation. In the 1990's when instant messaging was introduced (hello AIM and ICQ), it wasn't as easy to get away from (trust me, I know). Those words stung and cut and caused anger, tears, etc. But one of the biggest differences between then and now? Outside of someone talking about it later, it stayed between the two parties and wasn't on display for others to see. With Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc., any verbal damage can be viewed by the whole world... you've heard of viral videos on YouTube (prime example: kids beating other kids), but it is CRAZY how quickly making fun of others catches on... it spreads like wildfire (again, I've experienced both sides, one made me stronger, the other I still feel guilty about). Growing up is tough, but being ripped to shreds for the world to see exponentially increases the challenge.

The other part of this post, is my total disbelief that the president of the United States would hold a conference on bullying. He says it's because he was bullied... but um, excuse me sir, you're an idiot with big ears. Why wouldn't you be bullied? Oh by the way, who in the world (even those who are smart with normal sized ears) haven't been bullied? Are we supposed to feel sympathy for you? There is absolutely nothing that can be done in a lawmaker's office to fix the issue of bullying. Not only is the issue as old as time, it's individual and localized. It's a matter of changing culture, society, and relationship building to help the problem, however as long as there are humans, there will be bullying. We are a whole bunch of sinners living in a fallen world who all think we are super right 104% of the time (unfortunately, I am a prime example :/).

We are living in a time of unrest (the War on Terrorism, Egypt, Libya, guerilla warfare, Jihad, human trafficking, etc.). The value of the American dollar is falling, crime is rising, and in case no one has noticed, our politicians (on both sides of the aisle) are struggling to do anything productive. Maybe, just MAYBE law maker's (namely the head of this nation) should focus on those issues and butt OUT of the bullying issue... no law is going to change it. Empower the families, the teachers, the community to show a better way and do what we can to work with both the bullies and the bullied. Just a thought...

A trend, per se...

I certainly don't claim to be a Biblical scholar... my lack of the Word is nothing short of pathetic. Especially given my exposure to it in the past 24 years. I don't mean to be flippant about it, and especially don't mean to make excuses; I just don't want to claim to be something I'm not.

Despite 24 years of Sunday school, church, youth group, Christian high school AND college, etc. etc. I know the token verses, and a lot of the passages I have memorized aren't word for word and I couldn't give you the chapter and verse. Something I have been working on, and will continue to work on... since I didn't see the need to memorize content when I had scripture quizzes in school... just memorized 5 minutes prior for the grade (oh well, I guess hindsight really is 20/20).

However, BibleGateway.com, has become a close friend of mine as I learn more of the verses and where they are actually located in the books. Today, it pulled through once again. In the 19th chapter of Luke, when Jesus is coming to Jerusalem as a King, scriptures tell us...

³⁸ “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

³⁹ Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”

⁴⁰ “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

The 40th verse was my motivation for looking it up in the first place. If WE (as in the human race) cease to praise the name of THE Lord, HIS creation will do it for us. Now, to me, that raises several excellent points:

1. The inanimate objects we are surrounded by, that we say are physically unable to speak, are created by the One who created life, so obviously, they can praise. Along with that, everything they do (sit still like a rock, blow in the wind like a tree, etc.) they do for the glory of the Lord. Ouch, I can't say I do the same.

2. The Lord is WORTHY of praise... He can not not be praised. It is impossible. If we who He wants praise from choose not to do so, others will have to take our places.

3. Finally, if it gets to that point; the point where rocks are crying out in praise due to our silence, it is NOT going to be pretty. That is literally all I will say about that; it elicits no further explanation.

All of this to say, what a TRAGEDY it would be for creation to have to cry out in worship because we do not. Please note, that I am in no way saying that I cry out in praise as I should and I am aware of how much I am contributing to this issue, which is part of why I am writing of it in the first place.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist, or even someone like me (who is often several fries and a toy short of a Happy Meal) to realize that in the past oh, I don't know... 10 or so years, that natural disasters seem to happen more and more. In my personal memory, it feels like since the tsunami in India right after Christmas 2004, tsunamis (most recently Japan), earthquakes (New Zealand, Peru, Haiti), hurricanes (Katrina... lest you forget, check in with those from New Orleans), blizzards (hello winter 2010-1), etc. have been on the rise.

I am no theologian (please try to contain your shock), but it's my simple, ignorant, based on nothing more than a gut feeling, that the "rocks are crying out" per se. As we (humans, which unfortunately I am VERY much of one) continue to lose sight of what's important, and often neglect to praise and worship the One who is worthy, His creation feels the need to move (earthquakes), blow (hurricanes), and raise its hands (tornadoes) in our place.

Though I know our country is known as "Christian nation", is there really such a thing? Is that really an accurate name given that prayer, the Ten Commandments, the Nativity scene, and "God" can't be mentioned anywhere unless it is for use of irreverent humor? While I don't believe for a millisecond that the Lord is punishing these nations for neglecting Him, I do believe that the responsibility to praise is there, it is simply a matter of who it is fulfilled by; and I strongly believe that He'd rather hear it from us than those boulders, but that's just my thought. When the psalmist in Psalm 150:6 says, "let everything that HAS BREATH praise the Lord", he meant it. He wasn't referring to nature and objects... he was referring to those who have been given life.

My heart breaks for all who have been effected by these tragedies (most recently the Japanese) and my prayers go out to them (genuinely, not just because that's what you're "supposed to say"). I in no way mean to discount what has happened or trivialize the pain that people have felt. I pray that I (and many others) begin to take worship so seriously, that the boulders can go back to being big cement masses, the trees can go back to shaking their leaves (preferably regrowing green leaves for spring please and thank you) and that the oceans can go back to being serene bodies of crystal blue water. Naturally, this isn't just for their benefit... I believe that the manifestation of praise to the King in our lives will do wonders... for ALL. Praise be to the LORD.

Brandy Meets Daniel Powter

"Have You Ever" had a "Bad Day"?

You know, the day when...
...you sleep through your alarm
...wake up to a phone call that's the wrong number
...you trip and fall over a shoe as you pop out of bed
...put your contacts in the wrong eyes
...over cook your eggs
...your gas light is on and you're running late
...you pass out at the gym because you forget to take your medicines (ALL of them)
...run home to take them & get pulled over
...break a dish when you're making lunch
...spill the milk
...forget your list for Walmart and have to go back - twice
...get the date wrong on a meeting
...put shaving gel in your hair instead of shampoo
...realize you're out of soap with shampoo in your hair
...get chewed out by a guy who likes you that you don't like back
...burn your hand on the hair straightener
...trip over the dog's bone & fall down the stairs
All before 4:00?

Wouldn't that suck if that's how your Tuesday, March 1 was? If you're not sure, ask me and I will tell you.

2/3 of the way there!

I was born, raised, and still reside in the state of Indiana (don't ask me how I feel about the 3rd part of that sentence, as that is a conversation for another day). However, after over 24 years here, I am STILL not used to the winters, the cold, the gray, and the dreary. I don't know why my body craves the Vitamin D and serotonin from the sun like it does, but the lack of it sure throws me out of whack. Exhaustion, moodiness, tears... you name it, if it's negative, I will encompass it. I guess you could call it some sort of withdraw, because in the summertime, I'm about as energetic and peppy as people care to be around. I know this is shocking, but I can be a bit much... a bit over the top, a lot to handle... (please wipe that surprised look off your face, it's no secret).

All of that to say, today is the last day of February... woo hoo! I literally can not stand January, February and March in the state of Indiana. I don't mean to complain, but those three months are a challenge for me to get through. So today, I'm going to look at the glass as half full... or in this case, 2/3 full because two of the three yucky months are OVER! We are now less than a month away from the official start of spring and would you believe... I heard a bird chirping today!

One of my favorite sounds in the world is children laughing (I take after my Momma). I love to hear the sound of a boat taking off in the middle of the lake, the ding of the timer when cookies come out of the oven, and a squeal from someone I care about when they have good news. But one of the best sounds of all? Birds chirping after a long, harsh, drab winter. It's so invigorating I just want to run around outside yelling "yippee" at the top of my lungs. (Don't judge me, I've done it before.)

So today, I am thankful. Today we are 59 days into the 90 day stretch... and those birds are pretty doggone excited, too!

Follow-Up...

As I reread my post on the current health care system, I became worried that I may have come across in a pompous or arrogant manner; which I certainly had no intent of doing. My belief that health care is a privilege, not a right, is because our freedoms and the "free market system" that is supposed to exist in "democracy" dictates it as such.

I did not mean to seem like I was bragging that I have great health insurance; I'm blessed, yes, but I certainly don't mean to take that for granted. My point was simply that our government shouldn't take from some to give to others... we, as Christians, should do so without the government's help. I understand that there are many unfortunate circumstances, and I certainly wouldn't ever wish or condemn anyone in any type of situation, I just don't believe that a socialist approach is the way to go.

When Jesus lived as a man on this earth, he was not a rich man by human standards. However, you never saw Him taking from rich to give to poor... rather you saw Him reaching out and helping those less fortunate and that's what I believe we are called to do. We should help take care of the sick and the needy out of our love for Christ who has taught us to love others.

Again, I am truly sorry if my post came across in a rude, demeaning manner... that was not my intent; I just wanted to express my gratitude for the system that is helping me as I go through this "valley" if you will, and voice my opinion against a government run health care system... not to say that those who have not don't deserve to be treated and taken care of.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be in a situation in terms of health when care is out of reach, and my heart breaks for all who have to walk through physical trials in the first place. May God bless all those who suffer as HIS grace is sufficient.

#5: CURRENT Health Care System

I am a firm believer in the concept that everyone has "something". Some of us deal with physical health issues, others financial issues, others addictions, others still abuse, so on and so forth. There isn't a soul among us who isn't tormented by some form of SOMEthing. I will give the devil this: as much of a bastard as he is, he is sure a creative bastard! He comes up with different ways to challenge us, test our faith and drag us down. Seriously, don't know what else to call him but a bastard (and let's be real, that's keeping it rated PG).

In my case, currently, it's my health. I don't mean that in a "woe is me" way, it just is what it is... I am very blessed in many ways and it could always be much worse. That being said though, I have had a lot of experience with our current free health care system, and while yes it is expensive, it's FABULOUS. Yes, I'm blessed to have health insurance (thanks, daddy!). Yes, I'm blessed to have access to good doctors. And praise the Lord for those things!

Don't get me started on my thoughts of the so-called government take over of our health care system. This blog, and the world wide web for that matter, aren't big enough to hold my thoughts, feelings, and frankly the expletives I'd like to throw in with said perspectives. But our current system? Yeah, it's baller.

The people who are taking the time, putting in the effort, taking out the student loans, sacrificing anything outside of education to become doctors, in my opinion, deserve the compensation they receive! The Obama-ramuses' take that away, and they've stolen the incentive to work hard to become a doctor. And frankly, I don't want some C-student who has mediocre work ethic operating on or treating me (call me snotty, but SERIOUSLY!). Should this occur, a system that serves everyone will be useless given that the quality of the care won't be worth anything to anyone. Currently, we have great for some but not for all. Then, we would have no good for all.

People from all over the world come to America to utilize its incredible health care because it is one of the few remaining free systems in the world. Look at Canada and the train wreck their health care system is in... need I say more?

All of the time I have spent being a part of our health care system, has made me realize how BLESSED we are to have it, and how SCREWED (yes, I know that's not the most sophisticated way of saying it, but it certainly gets the point across) we will be if it is taken away from us. I do not mean to be pompous that I have had opportunities and access to healthcare while others who are less fortunate have not... but healthcare is a privilege, not a right. For me, for you, and for anyone else... it is something to be appreciated, not something one is entitled to. Furthermore, there are many organizations that exist to help those with medical expenses... our government doesn't need to do it by robbing some people of good healthcare to give all mediocre healthcare.

Jesus calls us to care for those less fortunate, those who are sick, those who are in need (Matthew 26) and as Christians, it is our responsibility to do so. Not in the name of socialism, but in the name of Christ. Our government forcing all to do so while some of those who are benefiting continue to milk the system and blow what little money they have in irresponsible manners (notice I say some, not all) is not only unfair, but will lead to further demise of our already fragile (due to the damage done) system.

Our current health care system has saved my life and many others... robbing our great nation of the system and those who make it possible would be one of the greatest tragedies in our great nation's history.

#4: Patriotism

I should specify, that in this series of "loves for my country", they aren't ranked in any particular order... they are all on the list, but please don't think that I love deodorant more than patriotism, it's simply the way the posts have fallen.

So several months ago (November, to be exact) I went to lunch with my Shorty (a.k.a my maternal 89 year old grandfather) on Veteran's Day. We went to Applebee's because they were giving Veterans a free meal that day, and my Shorty was a P-51 pilot in World War II. To me, this is a HUGE deal. I love everything about the 1940's, and frankly believe I may have been born in the wrong generation.

Anyways, while we were there, countless people questioned him, thanked him, and wanted to hear all about his time in the U.S. Air Corps. He was to bring his military I.D. to receive his free meal, but since he couldn't find it, he chose to bring a picture of he and my grandmother on their wedding day as he was in uniform and the picture was taken on the base. He proudly told the inquisitors of his time served, and showed off his beautiful bride to anyone who wanted to see. There are so few WWII Veterans left, that you could tell how impressed people were by him. They thanked him for his service, his sacrifice, his risks, his time, his energy... to which he politely replied with a shy "my pleasure".

Now, here's the thing... Shorty was in the war towards the end, because he was young. He wasn't a part of the draft, he freely elected to enlist because he wanted to serve his country. At 19, he didn't even meet the weight requirement to fly (he needed to be 120, but he was only 113 - I obviously don't take after his genetics) but the physician fudged his weight so he could get in to that cockpit.

I have a couple great uncles who were in the Battle of the Bulge, on the beaches of Normandy, one who was an officer directly under General MacArthur. While all of these examples pertain specifically to one war, they also are specific to a generation. A generation whose freedoms were directly attacked time and time again, but who would never retreat. Since that horrible war, there have been countless more, and just like my grandfather, there have been countless people who have freely chosen to enlist in our armed services to protect the freedoms and rights we hold dear, and often take for granted.

While again, patriotism is not specific to only America, the pride (some) Americans have for their beloved nation is enough to give me goosebumps. To hear the National Anthem, the Pledge of Allegiance, or to see the flag flown at half-staff in honor of tragedy reminds me of how deep patriotism runs. If I could individually thank every person who has sacrificed so that I may vote, travel, and worship as I desire, I would. In the meantime, I will continue to pray for them and for their loved ones, for the leadership of this country, and that those who want to hurt America will fail. I think Toby Keith says it best in his "Courtesy of the Red, White, & Blue"...

American Girls and American Guys
We'll always stand up and salute
We'll always recognize
When we see Old Glory Flying
There's a lot of men dead
So we can sleep in peace at night
When we lay down our head

Now this nation that I love
Has fallen under attack
A mighty sucker punch came flyin' in
From somewhere in the back
Soon as we could see clearly
Through our big black eye
Man, we lit up your world
Like the 4th of July

Hey Uncle Sam
Put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty
Started shakin' her fist
And the eagle will fly
Man, it's gonna be hell
When you hear Mother Freedom
Start ringin' her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you Courtesy of the Red White and Blue

Justice will be served
And the battle will rage
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you'll be sorry that you messed with
The U.S. of A.
'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass
It's the American way!

#3: Football

We are now two weeks post-Superbowl and I am have already having withdraws from the absolutely FANTASTIC game of American football. I get that soccer is the "original" football because it actually uses feet and is the world's sport and ya, ya, ya, but let's be real: what sport is as great as football?

As huge of a sports fan as I am, I am also a girlie girl, so I will start with the most obvious aspect of my heterosexual love of a sport: football pants. Which of course go hand-in-hand with some of the specific position players' builds: quarterback, tight end (literally, hehe), wide receiver, cornerback... to name just a few. Six foot something men without an ounce of body fat on them in spandex capris: you won't hear me complaining. Personally, I have yet to find a sport that has better looking players than football... seriously (not to mention my older-man crush on Joe Montana; he still looks THAT good!)

The tackling: it's the most civilized way to settle a score (literally again, wow, I'm on a roll!) in the oldest way known to man. Defense says to the offense, "you've got something we want" (the ball) and "I am now going to take you down so we can get it". Simple concept... complex execution.

The game itself: of the main sports that don't run continually during game time (i.e. basketball) all others, save football, are chasing a little white thing... does anyone else find that boring after oh, say, 10 minutes? Soccer, baseball, hockey... little white thing being chased by grown men in games that drag on forever. Not football! Football games are long enough that they make it worth your while to make the effort to go to the game or somewhere to watch the game, they keep your attention even though play isn't always continual amd again, they wear FOOTBALL PANTS. (Frankly, that in and of itself should be enough!)

Finally, I don't know if anyone besides me has noticed this (not because I'm so smart, but because of the misfires in my brain, I think of random stuff...) but for the most part (I didn't do enough research on this to find the statistics, because there are bad apples everywhere) players in the NFL aren't/don't seem to be in trouble nearly as often as other professional athletes. Now, again, I give the disclaimer that there are plenty of NFL idiots (I mean, what do you expect... they get hit in the head all the time!) who drive under the influence, beat their wives/girlfriends, allow their ego to drive their manhood, etc. However, Roger Goodell (the NFL commissioner) doesn't mess around with punishments: you screw up, you pay. Big Ben is a prime example. Brett Favre (who almost single handedly derailed this argument, given that despite his genius on the field several years ago, is a world-class idiot) is also a case of punishment being enforced. Good work, Rog! Whereas the MLB seems to constantly have steroid issues on top of the aforementioned bad decisions, the NBA seems to have become little more than street ball of ego-maniacs like Lebron James. Doesn't anyone remember when the NBA was cool? When it was Reggie, MJ, Scottie Pippen, etc.? You know, guys who actually knew how to play the game and had some fundamentals (again, not to say they weren't idiots off the court, but at least they weren't when they were on the court!) Furthermore, a lot of the "do-gooders" in professional sports today come from football, and have come from football in the past, I could write a long list of NFL players involved in doing the right thing and being the right person for the right reasons: find me three in one sport alone (save Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers because he's a cut above most people in general, let alone professional athletes or baseball players) because I couldn't come up with three in other sports.

So as unorganized as the idea of number three is, I am extremely grateful for the game of football, its hitting, rule enforcing, good-doing PANTS.

#2: Deodorant

Another thing I love about America, is its embrace for deodorant (and personal hygiene in general), but specifically the pH balanced goodness that prevents the stench. Again, I understand that Americans certainly aren't the only people to embrace the stuff, nor were we necessarily the rocket scientists who came up with it, but the stuff is GOOD.

I would go so far as to say whoever it was who did create it, should probably win an award (I'd suggest the Nobel Peace prize, but then again, those are given to people who don't do or know anything, ahem Obama...) so I'm not going to go there. But honestly, think about it... at the risk of being so politically uncorrect that my blog gets shut down and I get arrested for being a white Christian girl, I won't single out any specific cultures or races, but in case you haven't noticed, there are SOME in this world who don't utilize the gift of deodorant... even while in this country! (On a side note, my only beef with them is their body odor, I truly have nothing against nor am I prejudice towards any specific group of people.)

I know that "smells"probably aren't a crucial deal in the long run of life per se, but just think about it: how many different times, circumstances, situations, etc. has some form of a stench made or broken your experience? I mean hellooooo warm garlic and butter when you walk into Biaggi's. Hellooooooo dark chocolate and fruit when you walk into DeBrand's. Helloooooo person at the gym next to you who ate Biaggi's last night (EW!).

If you have ever been around someone who hasn't exercised their right to use deodorant, you know exactly what I'm talking about... it's a struggle to breathe it in, and while I can't speak for others, it makes my stomach think it's an olympic gymnast that needs to do an entire floor routine of jumps, flips, and cartwheels.

Furthermore, deodorant is like America (oh yes, I took it there): it comes in all shapes, colors, sizes, style and scents (notice I say "scents", not "odors"). Stick, solid, white, clear, men's, women's, travel size, value size, fierce ice, powder fresh, etc. It's like we can compare the Wal-Mart aisle of deodorant to our melting pot of folks!

So all in all, I'm extremely thankful for the stuff. I know it's a little thing, but they say (who ever "they" are) that it's the "little things in life", and this "little thing" can make or break a situation and any innocent bystander's temporary well-being.

New Series

To get myself off of my ranting soapbox and away from complaining, I've decided to try a new series of posts entitled "Why I love America", because I do. Frankly, if I didn't have the health of a rotten banana, I probably would have wanted to get into some form of service to my country, but they put stipulations on entrance to keep people like me out of there (who can blame them... why should they have to pay for my medical bills when the taxpaying public can do that? Oh wait, they don't... why again? Oh, yep, I forgot... I'm not on Medicaid).

Anywho, so many people in the world have negative feelings towards America & Americans. What's worse, is that so many of the people in the world who have such negative feelings are IN this country and Americans themselves! So, I have decided, that since I'm not one of those people, I am going to send a friendly public service reminder to the world wide web (and myself since no one really reads this blog and it's essentially nothing more than my personal journal) that America and her people are WONDERFUL! So many have sacrificed so that we may live in such a wonderful place and I think it's time I stop taking it for granted.

So, post one, here we go: I LOVE AMERICAN TOILETS. Yep, that's right. The porcelain throne. The john. The potty... whatever you'd like to call it. While I understand and respect the fact that America isn't the only place who has these above ground white seats that gracefully flush away our excretions, and it may not have been an American who created it, HOWEVER, they are a staple in this country. Unless you go to some far-left liberal hippie compound, where ever you are, you can use the restroom on a toilet as opposed to an outhouse or WORSE, a hole in the ground.

Following a conversation with my Grammy today, as she was relaying the time (mind you, this was last year) that she fell into a hole in the ground "potty" while backpacking in Nepal, it reminded me of the first time I attempted to use a similar set-up while in China. I demanded that a friend accompany me on this emotionally scarring endeavor, and would you believe, I slipped and got my foot stuck in the whole? Yes, that's right. All over my foot. My jeans. The floor. Ugh, what a mess.

I understand that I'm not Jillian Michaels, but I do spend exorbitant amounts of time at the gym, being active, and focused on fitness. That being said, I should have the balance to squat over a hole. But, alas, I dun't (said in my best Ricky Ricardo impression).

So to really begin my miniseries with a bang, today (and everyday for that matter) I am thankful for America and her toilets. Can I get an AMEN!?