Cynicism or Reality?

In light of Valentine's day (which is SO not a real holiday), I've chosen to blog (especially since I've been neglecting my writing) about Love. You know... the mushy gushy, can't eat/can't sleep/reach for the stars/over the fence World Series kind of feeling that makes one's eyes dance and their stomach flip-flop. THAT kind of love. The love that when you're in it makes you do bizarre things, the love that when you're not in it makes you want to puke when you see others in it, and the same love that causes a bazillion dollars (exact figure, I checked it!) to be spent on chocolate, flowers, lingerie etc. on February 14 of every year.

Some might say that the views I am about to express are due to my current relationship status, or jealousy or ego or anything else. I'm telling you, it's not. I've never liked Valentine's Day, regardless of whether I was in love, lust, or as single as one could ever be. This might sound a little outlandish, but I think that if you're going to love someone, it should be every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year. You don't get a "vacation" from love. Either you love them or you don't. Either you're in love or you're not.

Here's the scary thing about that though: it's my belief, that you can fall OUT of love. It's happened to me before. However, what scares me even more than that is, is that the one time I was in love, not only did I buy lie after lie (I'd like to chalk it up to immaturity, but unfortunately, I have to take responsibility for my being so naiive), I had no idea who the person was TRULY until it all hit the fan. Until AFTER I had fallen into and then out of love. Thus proving that regardless of time, you don't necessarily know someone. Regardless of how you feel or what you want to believe... people lie. People act. People are ingenuine. Funny thing about that is, is that it was nothing more than "young love"; just a dating relationship (that Praise the Lord) never turned into anything more. Piece by piece as I built the puzzle, I realized I wasn't in love with that person, I was in love with the person he concocted that never actually existed. Furthermore, what he called "love" was never really that at all; simply a desire for companionship. It didn't matter if it were me, the lunch lady, or the girl who lived next door. Just the idea of it was supposed to be enough.

Which leads me to my ultimate point: is it truly possible for our generation to love? To truly fall in love and it be the love that doesn't part until death (by natural causes, not by murder because you got so tired of them)? The love that I see when my Grampy comes home from the office and kisses my Grammy 1st thing after 60 years of marriage? The love that causes my dad to come home to my mom in the evenings as opposed to the country club bar with his friends? The love that no matter the trials, at the end of the day it's a man and a woman standing there; still holding hands, still looking into each other's eyes and no one else's. The love that despite arguments, trials, frustrations, and moments of "oh my gosh come here so I can ring your neck" conflict, still exists?

I truly don't know. I would like to believe in it, but I can't. Divorce is not only just an option anymore, it's part of the plan (i.e. what do you think a pre-nup means?!). It's trendy, it's acceptable, it's "no big deal". Our attention spans in this culture last all of 30 seconds... and then we are on to the next new and improved thing. Well, I've got bad news: the next new and improved thing is often a younger, better looking, more successful person. I don't know when or why this happened, but if you look at the divorce rates two generations ago and compare them to what happens now; the numbers speak for themselves... thus preventing me from believing that romantic love still exists. Rather, I'm afraid it's become a figment of imagination, a thing of the past that you see on the screen or read in a book but nothing more than that. The whole idea of "for better or worse, in sickness and in health" means nothing; even in dating relationships. When someone can walk away from someone in the midst of a life or death crisis because they don't want to "deal with" that, that further exemplifies the lack of understanding, commitment and essentially the level of selfishness that has been reached.

Regardless of the "royal wedding" that is coming in April, I have bad news: fairy tales don't exist. Maybe they did once, but not anymore. There are no princes, no princesses, and certainly no horse-drawn carriages to carry lovers into "happily ever after". Some may call it cynicism, but I call it reality... welcome to 2011.