Death as I See It

To play on the title of my blog, I am acknowledging an experience that I guess I underestimated.

As of 1:30 this morning, my mom's dear friend Sheron, who was basically family, went home to be with Jesus. She was diagnosed with bile duct cancer just over 2 years ago, and at that time was given just a few months. Following a tumultuous period of surgeries, treatments, improvements and relapses, the Lord took her to be with Him... for which I can't blame Him, given that she's so wonderful, but it certainly doesn't remove the pain from those here on earth who love her so dearly.

My mom has lost several close friends to cancer, and I'm no stranger to funerals/losing loved ones/illnesses/etc., but this is the first time I have literally watched someone die. The jaundice skin, the labored breathing (134/min.), the almost nonexistent blood pressure (60/42), the distended belly, so on and so forth. She was in so much pain, so I don't mean to selfishly imply it's not a blessing for her to be restored again.

Sheron was a rock for so many and last night as I was sitting on one side of her bed, my mom on the other, my mom looked at me and said, "I don't care if you're a believer or not. Death is ugly." And honestly, she's right. It's the act of dying that is so atrocious. Though she is in a better place, the path she had to take to get there was awful. I know that dying is a part of life (which when put into words seems rather oxymoronic) but nonetheless, it's heartbreaking.

This may be my least insightful post, ever, but knowing and understanding something is nothing compared to witnessing it... or at least not for me. I know this is something I will get used to seeing often, but I pray that regardless of how much it effects me, that it always effects me that deeply. I pray that I never become accustomed to or used to the act of dying that it no longer impacts my well-being.

Every day truly is a gift.